Bloody Boring Rubbish

I’m tired. What a boring post. There are lots of things I could write about but I’m just too tired. Bloody, boring, rubbish. Just go read something else.

Did I mentin my plan to go downtown in Toronto and attend a BDSM munch on the 6th? I don’t really want to go anymore. I don’t feel enthusiastic or hopeful. But, it will be an adventure. I could write about it all in agonizing detail for the adult BW column.

What I’d really like is to meet someone, a guy who isn’t a dickhead. A guy who really wants a woman in his life and not just someone to play games with. I’m so tired of being disappointed and lied to, one way or another.

I’m a good person. I’m a nice girl. I’m cute. Dammit! I deserve more than a dickhead and I deserve to find someone who can put as much passion, creativity and honesty into loving me as I can give to him.

Bite me!

Good Girls Don’t

It’s such a nice feeling to be happy with something you wrote. Sure I could have let it sit overnight and come back to it with more ideas and points to add, but it’s good as it is. I like it.

So here it is… my fresh column from Bewitching Vagabond at BackWash

Good Girls Don’t

Did you know I write erotica? Well, I do. Not often, just when I come up with an intriguing idea. It’s different to other writing. For one thing I do battle with myself about it frequently. Why, you might wonder.

It’s that whole good girls don’t write naughty stories sort of thing. Truly good girls don’t even read that stuff either but I’m too old to still be that good. I’m a divorced woman now, you can’t expect me to be snow white pure any more. Yes, I don’t mean to shock you, but even good, nice, sweet girls have sex at least now and then. Though we have to wait to be asked. We aren’t allowed to go out and hunt them down. Check the rule book if you’re in doubt.

Not that hunting them down doesn’t sound fun… Now I’m getting sidetracked. But, still, umm, I’ll just file a few things away for another time. Back in a bit.

OK, that’s one other part of writing erotica, getting ideas at inconvenient moments. It happens to most writers but with erotica it’s not always so easy to jot down notes at work, on the bus, at the dinner table, etc. People might see what you wrote!!! Can you imagine your Mother reading something erotic in your penmanship? My Mother wouldn’t quite be shocked, just that kind of disappointed thing. Thus the whole good girls don’t complex again.

Anyway, writing erotica is kind of a dare for me. A dare to myself. I used to think it was some deep, dark secret I had to keep from the rest of the world and everyone at BackWash. But, I’m not good at keeping secrets. Just ask anyone who has asked me to keep a secret. Eventually I forget we’re keeping it a secret and I just blab about it when the subject comes up in conversation.

I hope you have something you dare to do in spite of the world. It’s fun, freeing too. Kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff, the path not taken and then taking that step and letting all the preconceived notions of proper civilization fly away as you fall into a life of sin. Not quite sin, but it looks good on paper. Just like the erotica itself, it looks good on paper but who knows if any of it would ever work out that way.

Which is another thing, I have to wonder what people think when they read the stuff that comes out of the darkened corners of my brain. Do they think that’s me or do they know that’s just some part of me leaking out again.

In the end, I have to know who I am and just go with it. Let me know how it turns out… I’ll just keep my eyes closed the way good girls should.