If I Was A Prostitute
|July 2, 2011||Posted by thatgrrl under Adult BackWash, women stuff, writing|
Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Tuesday May 25, 2004
The question of the night is… What am I doing here?
Me, the good girl. Yes, I know you’ve heard that before. But now add to that the daughter of the deceased. When is it ok to start writing erotica again after a death in the family? Do they have a Miss Manners Guide for bad girls? Or even for good girls who like to play with the bad girls? Or just my own personal Miss Manners Guide to my own personal life since no one else seems to be looking for the same polite rules of conduct I’m looking for. I’m an oddity. I’ve heard it before.
But, me, I’m a dud. I know… here you thought I could teach your old dog a few new tricks and you read about my wicked ideas and had such high hopes. Let me crush those for you now. I could be a born again virgin. I think I will just give up on the whole thing. I’m getting too old. Besides, I am very well self taught when it comes to pleasing women, one woman anyway.
Is there some point when a man just gets in the way?
I think that must be the reverse of prostitution or being a hooker, whore, etc. I won’t even type the nastier ones. If you are being paid to please a man you can’t start off by thinking he is in the way, can you? Not very good customer service. Even I know that just as a cashier and I only have to count their change. If I prefer I don’t even have to physically touch them. I do prefer it that way actually. Do you know how gross some people really are, up close? ICK! It’s enough just taking their money.
If I was a prostitute I would make them all wear full body condoms. I don’t even want one curly little hair escaping. Yes, suffocation is a danger, but not for me! He can take the risk. If he really seems to be suffering I’ll poke an air hole somewhere. I’m not completely mean.
If I was a prostitute I would always be the Domme. No way could I submit to some guy I’ve just met. Most of them are drooling idiots anyway. How can you submit to someone you’re laughing at on the inside?
If I was a prostitute I would demand references from their last three lovers, up front. I don’t want someone fumbling around pretending they have a clue. If I have to show them where my clit is they might as well just play with themselves awhile and then get out. Would they know the difference? I think not.
But, I’m not a prostitute. I’m not about to become one though the money would come in handy. I don’t think I can become dettached enough. Plus it should all be about me, pleasing me, how good I feel, etc. If it becomes about pleasing some dickhead of a guy… that’s just gross. What’s in it for me? Me! Me! Me!
Maybe that’s the difference between a nice girl and a bad girl. Nice girls always finish last. If at all. No wonder I don’t fit in.
Now if only Martha would return my calls about the whole erotica writing/ good manners thing.
Give a man a free hand, and he’ll try to run it all over you. – Mae West