There is a difference between trying to make people do things and expecting people to do things.
What makes a woman a good Domme… expecting him to be submissive. Not forcing or pushing or making him behave, just expecting it.
He wants this. He wants to be dominated, put in his place and he expects you to do it.
You want the power of having him in his place. (At least that’s how it feels to me). But, the more energy you put into keeping him there with force, aggression or threats – the less in control you feel. It also wears you down. I don’t like men who complain about women nagging. But, I understand how it happens. Men don’t comply with what she wants. So she asks again. Maybe she pushes more the next time. It carries on from there. As long as she continues to ask for what she wants he will consider her to be nagging.
No woman wants to be seen as a nag.
So break the pattern. Stop asking him a second time. Stop demanding, stop trying to make him do things. Expect it. Ask or explain what you want, once. Just once. Afterwards, expect him to do it.
I’m not writing about not communicating and thinking he will have some psychic power to know what you want.
I do know that you can communicate without being pushy, without speaking a word. In the case of being a BDSM Domme you have the extra edge of punishment too. Don’t forget that element. He didn’t behave, he didn’t accomplish a task, etc. – punish him. You don’t need to put a lot of energy into it. Don’t explain and talk about it all as if he were a small child.
Just tell him he failed to perform as expected. That’s not acceptable. Now his punishment will be…
No screaming, yelling or fighting required. Remember, this BDSM submission is what he wants. Remind him of that, once, should he complain or forget his place.
Next time you want something done… Expect it to be done right and make the punishment something you could enjoy or benefit from if he fails to meet your expectations.
Don’t be petty or small minded and demand he serve his punishment with a smile. Instead, smile yourself, knowing you got what you wanted without screaming, nagging or feeling like a bitch.
Being a Domme isn’t about keeping in character. It’s about enjoying your submissive man. Don’t let him forget it!