The Sex Trap

I worry that women get caught in a sex trap. How we think of ourselves and how men see us.

When you see an image like this (below) you get an impression of that woman, what to expect from her, who she is, how she thinks, etc. But, how often is this how women are portrayed, generally. This image is an exception, a part of the whole and yet it is taken as our worth, our identity too. It seems men decide this is what a woman should be because this is what they want of women.

So by selling ourselves we sell ourselves short.

sextrap

Images such as this keep the stereotype (for lack of a better word) growing. Everything we do as Mothers, professional career women, and just as women in general is taken down a notch due to our worth being seen as sexual rather than a woman.

You can call me a feminist if you like. If that makes you feel I’m just another feminist you want to discount the opinions of. But, I’m not especially feminist. I don’t pin a lot of labels on myself because they limit you. A label sticks to you and then you try to keep the label by changing to suit it. I’d rather just be who I am and evolve as I go along.

Most people cling to labels. I think they are a short cut, taking the easy way out instead of actually thinking and making a decision.

Women are labelled, a lot.

The woman in the photo above will be labelled, quickly.

She could be any woman taking off her underwear. She could be a wife. She could be a Mother of children. She is likely a daughter to someone, maybe a sister. She could be a lawyer, an engineer, a teacher, a real estate agent, a waitress, etc. But, few people will think of any of that when they look at this picture.

Do sex workers, catering to men’s needs, sell all women short?

I’m not a religious fanatic so my point of view is not biased that way. I just think women will never be able to advance as long as women are for sale (or rent as the case may be) for sex. Why is sex so important? Sex is plastered all over our culture and media. Look at advertising, for an easy example. When sex sells why is it a woman in the picture almost every time. Are men so hideous they can’t be used to sell cars?

Overall, I don’t think women will ever find equal ground in our society because we are seen as sexual tools and that image is sold over and over again. As women we often buy into it ourselves.

Real FemDom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

The link below offers a fairly traditional list of FemDom fetishes and kinks. I read the list and then thought: I don’t actually want most of that. Or, if I do, it’s not really all that interesting after a short time. Not for me, individually, personally.

Women as Doms are pushed to perform for male submissives. Stop and think… What do you actually want?


Foot worship… slobber on your feet and foot wear. How attractive is that? Get him to pamper your feet in practical ways: manicures, leg waxing and massage. Change foot worship into foot service and reap the rewards!

Chastity… really means chastity for both of you. Would you prefer having him make love to you – the way you want him to? Yes, you can have him perform and give you an orgasm but is that really enough for you? Chastity works better as a tease than a reality. Long periods of time spent in chastity are usually just in stories, not fact.

Sissy play… Do you really like seeing him feminized? How does that make you feel about being a woman yourself? I don’t like sissy play. Not because I don’t like the torment of putting him into high heels, a frilly pair of panties, etc. But, I feel there is an aspect of sissy play which minimalizes women and being a woman.

Spanking… play, punishment, pleasure…? Do you enjoy giving a spanking? Do you like the exercise you get from it? By the end of the spanking do you have bruises too?

Bondage and teasing I do like. But, I make sure I’m doing both my way. I make sure I’m enjoying teasing him and I prefer mental bondage to the risk of tools and gadgets which are really physical objects to symbolize the actual control and power. Physical bondage works when I want to see him struggle and squirm and he likes being able to do so.

Roleplay… I do enjoy adding flavour with roleplay. But, how do you feel about it yourself? Does some of it feel silly, over done? Do you enjoy it or is it a performance and you’re glad when it’s over and you can be yourself again?

Learn how domination can boost your confidence and bring you closer to your man with these sexy femdom ideas that you can cater to your interests!

Source: 10 Femdom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

Introduction to Light Bondage

How to Dom with Light Bondage

  • Restraints
  • Sensual Deprivation
  • Discipline
  • Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don’t want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can’t get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don’t have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive – knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don’t take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I’m not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don’t want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don’t skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.