The Neatness of Blogging About Sex

The real question is – How do Wookies type with all that hair on their fingers? Once you get past that go ahead and read the questions and answers Kilted Wookie posted for this distinguished award in blogging neatness. To follow are the questions I answered when it was my turn and last – the questions and nominees I’ve passed this award along to.

  1. How did you come across your blogging persona?
  2. What inspired you to write your first blog?
  3. What is your greatest unfulfilled fantasy/dream?
  4. What has blogging taught you about yourself?
  5. How many “real life” people know you are a blogger and how did it make you feel when you discovered they knew?
  6. Lights on or off?
  7. What do you normally wear in bed?

Source: A Real Neat Blog? | A Kilted Wookie Writes…

How did you come across your blogging persona?

It’s not really a persona. Somewhere between being contrary, curious and painfully honest I am just being myself. But, we are all full of ourselves, lots of niches and unexpected surprises. So, it’s not too hard to be myself and yet be different from who I am when I’m not thinking about relationships, men or anything related.

The other reason I don’t try to keep up a persona: it’s just too complicated! I know people who blog with several personas over several sites in different niches. I just don’t want to make my brain work that hard to figure out who I am.

What inspired you to write your first blog?

My first blog was on something other than GeoCities (which Yahoo bought out) back in 1996. I loved the free writing, the derring-do of doing anything as long as you could understand enough HTML to do it!

On top of that, it was liberating to write and talk about sex, kinks and fetishes. I didn’t blog about that until a bit later. Back then I was having a great time as an IRC diva. I met a lot of the early online BDSMer’s. I did things online that people don’t seem to do online any more. Or, not nearly as well. In those early days the men were more fun and didn’t always offer you photos of their penis.

I began writing about my IRC adventures just for fun. We played a lot of truth or dare and we played live BDSM scenes and events too. I was involved in BDSM auctions as the seller, buyer and the auctioneer – I was up there being sold too. It was a great group and I wish I hadn’t lost touch with all of them. But.. Dommed if you do; Dommed if you don’t.  Years later I wrote for the red light zone at BackWash.com but the whole network has been gone for years now. That was another good community.

What is your greatest unfulfilled fantasy/dream?

The simple wish for someone to grow old with. I think that is the hardest fantasy to fulfill.

What has blogging taught you about yourself?

I don’t really have an answer for that. Blogging (writing) has gotten me through rough times in my life. Did I learn anything? Seems not, I keep doing the same stuff over again and expecting something to be different. But, I don’t think I’m insane, just contrary.

I guess I have learned that pushing yourself to be perfect and make everyone else content is just a way to burn yourself out. I still haven’t learned it well enough to stop trying to be perfect. With blogging you really do have to write for yourself, no matter what all the SEO guru regurgitate in all their blogs.

How many “real life” people know you are a blogger and how did it make you feel when you discovered they knew?

They all know because I told them. It’s not a deep, dark secret. I even told them I write adult content (fiction and non-fiction). Recently (this year) it came up in conversation and my family were surprised I write about sex. Then they remembered they had forgotten about it. So, not much drama there.

I don’t introduce myself as a sex blogger. I decide when to pop it into the conversation or if to mention it at all.

Weirder than the blogging thing is having posted your photo in your Fetlife profile then have a man you don’t know approach you in the grocery store in town – and he knows your name!

Lights on or off?

You can’t turn the lights off in the day. It doesn’t matter to me. Lights off is nice because I can take off my eye glasses and not see any better or worse in the dark. Lights on is good – less chance of poking him in the eye, etc.

What do you normally wear in bed?

I love long nightgowns. Some are soft cotton, some are silky, slinky satin but the longer the better, with sleeves too. I like something luxurious that will sway along with me when I walk. Assorted colours: deep red, dark pink, jewel tones of green and blue, soft yellow, orange… etc.

I know women who wear underwear and bras to bed, I’ve never done that. It’s enough to wear all that stuff day to day. The evenings are my time to feel decadent, romantic like a woman from long ago, but with the modern conveniences of indoor plumbing.

On to my own nominations and questions forthwith:

Gracie at Sex Kitten @GraciePassette

Submissive Guy Comics @SGCposts

A Bad Gentleman  @abadgentleman

A Slip of a Girl @SlipOfAGirl

Rose at Ruined Boudoir @RuinedBoudoir

  1. What colours do you like to wear to feel sexy, and why?
  2. You have an unlimited budget and no figure flaws to consider – describe a sexy outfit you’d like to wear.
  3. Even if you only walk from the shower to your bedroom… what do you like about walking around nude?
  4. Is sex more mental or physical for you, how/ why?
  5. What is/ was the best thing about your favourite sexual partner so far?
  6. Did you tell him or her at the time, or ever?

 

 

About Sexual Rejection From Women

I’d add to Gracie’s post (see below) and say the hormones for men and women are on opposing sides. For men sex is pretty simple, you’re in and then your’re done. For women sex isn’t simple. Getting pregnant is just one thing.

Although I think it is changing for younger people, those just coming out of high school, women have been taught/ brain washed to dislike our bodies and think we should not have sex. That’s a combination that doesn’t work out so well for men who want simple, easy sex.

A typical woman does not go a day without seeing standards of female beauty, vitality and sexuality plastered all over her world. This does not make the typical woman feel desirable. No wonder she doesn’t feel like having sex any and every time he asks. How many men could go through a day of being shown how inadequate they are and then perform upon request?

Also, being asked for sex in a “pass the salt” way is not romantic. Not that every sexual encounter should or must be romantic, but… It shouldn’t be as commonplace as going to the bathroom either.

Could men put some effort into getting sex? Beyond just asking and expecting sex, could men make it seem like they care versus just taking care of a bodily function? If men need more sex then do what women have done since the dawn of time: masturbate. The orgasms are much better, fantasies are great, and there’s less mess to clean up. What do men think all those rejected women do when they get home, alone?

Dudes, your hormones (primarily, anyway) cycle every 24 hours; that, and not your love for us, is why you get a woody every morning. On the other hand, our cycle of hormones is a bit more complicated and lengthy than that; the result is that we are on far less of a “daily horny schedule” than men. And that’s before we get into realities like the processes of pregnancy and menopause. We don’t just age and change to disrupt your fantasies and desires; we ride the wild wave of our biology because that’s fucking life. Literally.

In a civilized culture, where humanity & good citizenry is defined largely by our ability to override our animal nature, hormones still have their way with us. Even amidst our culture wars and culture lag, they play their role. But, romance aside, if culture is to override such base things as biology, then something desperately needs to be done in terms of equality and the messages being sent to and about women.

Source: Hetero Men Complain About Sexual Rejection From Women. Really? | Sex~Kitten.net

Category Tweaking on Gracie’s Site

You may not suspect this about Dom women but… we like to have fun. Personally, I like to be contrary, cause a bit of mischief and see if I can get away with it.

Ordinarily I’m very honest, open and fairly old fashioned. People mistake me for the nice girl type, but it’s easy to see how that happens. I seldom cause mischief after all. But… its only that much more fun when I do.

Gracie may not even mind about the category description. She may never notice it even, or not for a really long time. Unless she reads about it here…

Don’t be a snitch!

category tweak

via Darla’s Boudoir | Sex~Kitten.net.