Do You Compliment Men?

Change things around and bring him flowers, chocolates and a sincerely meant compliment. If you can bake make him a cake, a pie or cookies, homemade may not be perfect but it’s far more intimate/ personal than something from a bakery.

Stop suggesting changes to his wardrobe and bring him flowers in bright colours instead. Later you can try a shirt or tie, inspired by the colours he liked in the flowers. Or, not, really how terrible is it that he dresses himself, even if you don’t approve of some of his choices. Keep in mind that he wants to look good, he just doesn’t want to be told to change.

A compliment will work much better. Tell him when he’s looking good. Tell him he’s having a great hair day. Tell him those pants look great on him, that shirt brings out the colour of his eyes and he looks so polished and professional when he wears that suit.

People like positive feedback, which is what compliments are. No one is going to accuse you of nagging when you give a sincere compliment to them. (Don’t try turning negative feedback into a compliment – that’s just mean and phoney).

Complimenting men is fun, once you get started. Compliment random men. The guy who held the elevator or the door for you. Smile when you say “thanks” and actually look at him too. Such a small thing can really make a difference in someone’s day, for both of you.

Being pleasant never goes out of style.

Guys love compliments

‘As men, we crave compliments. Nothing will make us happier then to be told we look good, smell good, etc. This is why… we men tend to compliment women too much sometimes. We sometimes over use the golden rule, we treat women as we want to be treated.

‘I have worked with some pretty attractive men who would get hit on often which was nothing for them but the second someone actually complimented them they lit up like a god damn gorgeous Christmas tree.’ – Betamaletim

Quote from a post at Marie Claire.

Why Don’t More Women Dom Men?

CaptureI think there would be far more women as BDSM Dominants if women understood what it really is. The male version is just a fantasy, their fantasy. The porn version is fiction, created for men who like the fantasy. So, women don’t really see what Domming is, just the FemDom fiction.

A woman who likes to Dom is not mean, vicious or nasty. It’s not about causing harm or taking out your frustrations. It’s about power, fun, creativity, romance and sensuality, among other things. I like to focus on the creativity and sensuality. (That makes it fun for me).

How many women would love to have control of their man if they really did have control? Tell him what you want, how you want it and when you want it… and he obeys. It works for the men who are submissive too.

There is no guarantee of sex with BDSM. Sex isn’t used as a reward or punishment. In Dominance and submission he doesn’t obey in order to get sex. He doesn’t obey because you command him, like a drill sergeant. He doesn’t obey because you’re wearing tight black leather and high heels. It’s not about worshipping women either, though some like to add that in. He obeys because he wants to, this is what he wants. He wants to obey. He wants to be a good boy. He wants to be happy, with you.

Have you ever told a man he’s a “good boy”? Watch his face. Those are powerful words. As a Dominant woman you can get a lot of mileage out of “good boy”. Play with it sometime. You don’t have to try anything else, just slip a “good boy” into the conversation. You can say it softly, romantically, sensually. Or, say it with power, energy and a little forcefulness.

Subtle, Simple Ways for Women to Dip into Domination

  • Hold his hand. Take his hand as you cross the street. Lead him by the hand and walk in front of him.
  • Order for him. You don’t need to order him around. Try ordering for him at a restaurant before he lets the server know what he wants.
  • Dress him. Tell him what you want him to wear next time you go out together. Pick out clothes that look good on him and tell him so if he objects.
  • Kiss him first. Pick a moment when it won’t lead to anything else. Just a quick, impulsive kiss, or a fondle, caress, tickle…
  • Ask him to touch you and tell him how to do it right (as you want to be touched). Anything from rubbing your shoulders, warming your hands, or stroking your back. It’s up to you.
  • Accept thanks and compliments from him. Don’t be modest or turn away positive comments. Reward him with a smile instead and thank him too.

None of these things are Earth shattering. But, you can get a feeling for being in power in your relationship. You can see how fun it is and start to want more. Also, as you take charge you begin to ask for more, expect more and then it’s just a step farther to telling him you’re going to try something new… like blindfolding him or not letting him touch you with his hands while you have your own way with him.

For women who really enjoy Domination it’s not about wearing tight costumes, carrying a whip or being a bitch. Those can be elements of it, if that’s what you actually want. But, BDSM can be all about sensuality and pleasure. As a Dominant woman you just do it YOUR way. The hard part is sticking to doing it your way and not letting things slip into giving him what he wants while you wait for it to be over. There is nothing so dull and boring as being a McDomme, a woman doing what he wants, his way and wishing you had brought along a good book for yourself.