Writing Speed Porn

Filling Up The (Column) Inches
By Emily Dubberley

A few weeks back, I was launching a new sex site for women. We’d set pretty tight deadlines for the team but sure enough, with 24 hours to go before launch, we had 30,000 words of porn to write.

Not a good situation.

Even worse, some of it was is genres that didn’t even interest me; we try to cater for as broad a range as fantasies as possible but that doesn’t mean I’m an all-round perv!

This is when I learned how to write speed-porn that (hopefully) presses all the right buttons but takes a lot less time to write. Here are a few tips that may help when you’re up against it:

1. Base as much as you can on personal experience. Remembering a particularly hot night and writing it up is a lot easier than having to generate entirely original scenarios.

2. Take horny situations you’ve been in that never amounted to anything; those nights when there’s been a frisson in the air but something stopped things from developing. Imagine what would have happened and write it down.

3. Failing that, write up your most common fantasies that have no basis in reality. It’s amazing how much you remember; after all, you’ve been using it as masturbation material for years!

4. Think of every chat you’ve ever had in which sexual scenarios have been mentioned. Write them up (changing names for obvious reasons)

5. It sounds obvious, but pick scenarios that are easy to introduce sex into. Rather than having to convolute the lead characters into ending up in the sack, go for something like playing naked twister, being drunk at a party or having a girlie night in with a friend you’ve always fancied. It may lead to slightly clichĂ©d stories but given that most people read porn for masturbation material, as long as the sex scenes are well written, they probably won’t mind too much.

6. Start listening to every conversation around you, no matter how mundane. Inspiration can come from the strangest places. Hearing a barman saying ‘I’ll be coming right over in a second’ or a business colleague saying ‘I’m tied up all afternoon’ can trigger erotic stories if you’re keeping your dirty mind running full time.

7. Keep it real. You may be on deadline but it still needs to sound convincing. If you’re writing about anal sex, mention some form of lube. If you’re talking about blowing a 14 inch cock, mention some hand action (or gagging, but that’s far less erotic!) And if you’re writing about group sex, make sure the scenarios are physically possible.

8. Where possible, don’t write group sex on a deadline. It’s way harder to keep track of what five characters are doing than two or three, particularly if you want all of them to come. The less characters you have, the quicker you can write it up.

9. Ask everyone you know (via e-mail; you are on deadline) to suggest scenarios. If you’re a porn writer, throwing in the sex once you’ve got a prompt should be pretty easy.

10. Don’t masturbate or have sex until you’ve met deadline; that pent-up tension makes for great porn!

Emily Dubberley is the editor of http://www.cliterati.co.uk.

Looking for a Virgin…?

Found on Craigslist:

Are you shy / inexperienced / have low self-esteem? – 27

Looking for a girl that is shy, inexperienced, and has low self-esteem.
I will help you build your confidence, and get experience, one step at a time.
We’ll take it step-by-step, at the pace that makes YOU feel comfortable.

At first, we’ll just work on making you feel comfortable around a guy (me), and in public. Then once you are ready, we’ll move onto building sexual experience. I’ll let you explore my body, I’ll let you ask me questions, and I’ll let you play with me. At first you can stay dressed, and you can see me naked. Then once you’ll be fine with it, I’ll undress you slowly, so that you will get comfortable with the idea of a guy undressing you. You will probably shake and tremble at first, but then you’ll slowly get to love the feeling! I’ll kiss your body all over, so that your tensions will ease, and you will start feeling warm and aroused inside. And we will go as far as you are prepared to go!

I’ll show you how valuable you really are!
In the end you will be totally confident about yourself, and will have gained enough experience so that you will not be afraid of guys, and what people will think or say about you!

I am looking for one girl only, so please do describe yourself in your response, so that I could pick the one who will benefit the most!!!

If you include a picture, that’s even better. However, since you are shy, and you have low self-esteem, you will probably not be comfortable with including your picture.

About me: I’m 27, white, handsome, athletic, understanding, passionate, educated, funny, independent, and intelligent. I’m clean, I maintain a good hygene, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, and I don’t do drugs.

You will NOT be disappointed! Making you feel comfortable, and helping you learn appreciate yourself is my goal!

Likely not a good idea to reply to this ad. I lost my virginity with a guy I new a long time and later married. I know that sounds old fashioned, maybe too old fashioned and spinsterly. But, it was a special event in my life, and it is still one of my best memories from the time I had with my exhusband. A girl shouldn’t give that away to someone who just wants to hunt cherries. What happens to her once he has popped it? Maybe he just cut and pastes the same ad back on Craigslist and waits for a fish to bite.

Quizilla: Sexual Appeal

What is your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

I’ve been reviewing sites for Dmoz today and came across this quiz. I’m a sucker for feedback, of almost any kind.

Why don’t men give more feedback after sex, before too really. My ex would ask what I liked sometimes. But, he would pick a time during sex, when I was not ready to answer anything like that. After, the next day, while driving in the car to visit his Mother. That would have been a much better time for me to come up with an answer. Not when I’m naked and feeling vulnerable. I usually came up with something and yet the mood was shot for me at that point.

Can you talk about sex, during sex? Or do you prefer to be clothed and self composed when discussing how you like it?