Introduction to Light Bondage

How to Dom with Light Bondage

  • Restraints
  • Sensual Deprivation
  • Discipline
  • Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don’t want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can’t get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don’t have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive – knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don’t take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I’m not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don’t want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don’t skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.

Taking the Fem out of FemDom?

From 24/4 love and submission: Stop gendering the words Dom and sub when you are talking about D/s in general.

My comment posted to Scoop.it: BDSM Fetish and Fashion:

To say D/s isn’t about gender is taking the sex and the lust out of it. D/s is about gender, sex, sensuality, courtship, romance, bondage, discipline, etc.

I do agree it is time we stopped expecting Dom to always be male. It would be nice to see the end of FemDom and Male Dom and just use Dom as the standard word. However, I would not say gender is irrelevant or not important.

The BDSM Style Test

OK Cupid – The BDSM Style Test

I don’t agree with some of the results. But, it was set up for male Doms, not women. No doubt that made a difference.

RSON – Ritual-Serve-Exhibitionism-Nonlifestyle

Ritual: You need to have rules and boundaries in your kink.

Serve: Not as in D/s but as in needing to serve the needs of your partner, who ever is “in charge”

Open: Not minding if other people know what you do. Liking it when people watch you.

Non-lifestyle: Preferring to keep kink in the bedroom or confined to certain times of the day.

You like your kink to have a certain formality to it, you enjoy knowing where you stand and for certain things to result in definite consequences.

Your partner is the most important thing during play, you are determined that they have enjoyed themselves and their needs are being met. You are active in the “scene” but do not explore your kinky side outside of the more short term play session.