How Did you Pick Your User Name?

You might pick a few user names over the time you are on the Internet. Likely, you have a selection depending on where you are and who you are communicating with too.

The name you pick for yourself says a lot about you. Even if you didn’t intend it to have any real meaning beyond what seemed obvious to you at the time. Women may look at a name and read more into it than men expect. I often wonder if men really understand what their online names say about them.

I found a list of ick factor names men often use. It is a great list – I’ve felt the same way about user names like these. As a Domme looking to meet men online (I’ve kind of stopped looking now) any name like those below is a turn off. To me each of them show a one track mind, focused on his needs/ wants and not leaving any imagination or care for me. Almost no men online (on dating/ personal sites) will ask what I want until they have exhausted their own laundry list of what they will do for me. Silly boys, how can you know what I want if you are focused on what you want and ignore me.

Kind of like dealing with a telemarketer on the phone – you can put the phone down and just leave them talking to themselves until they finally hang up.

From an old post on Domme Chronicles:

If a submale has a user name that communicates an icky message, he is going to have to work *extra* hard to make me believe he’s actually an intelligent, thinking human being.

Examples of names with the ick factor:

  • Names that focus on your fetish: footslave; oralslut; hot4latex, cuckme.
  • Those that offer sexual use to the world: open4yrstrapon, slave4youtouse, toiletpaperboy4u, useme4sex, sexslave4u.
  • Anything with the number ‘4’ in it: see above.
  • Explicit sexual names: bigdick4u, tinycockboy, tongueyrclit, fuckmyarse, sixtyniner.
  • Names that make you look like a fantasist: lockmeup24-7, castrateme, extremesub, nolimitslarry.

My comment:

I will often pick out a clever user name as someone to chat with online. When I don’t really know anything else about the person, not even gender these days, I hope the name shows something about them – clever, creative and maybe interested in history or science fiction (if the name connects to something I also know and like). Mainly I like a clever name because it shows (he?) might have interests to talk about rather than drooling on about “serving me” before knowing what I even like or want.

I picked Darla Darling because my ex-husband called me DarLink when we talked online. So it became Darla Darling because I also liked that name from the old Little Rascals TV shows. Also, it worked well when I came up with the name for my site, thinking of the Gabor sisters. In a roundabout way it all worked out.

Do People Play BDSM Online to Skip the Aftercare?

I know people who will only play online. They say they are into BDSM but I don’t agree. They are missing two important parts of the whole BDSM relationship. The actual parts which make it a relationship.

Is that why they don’t want to have anything real? If it were real, would that make it too real for them?

So what are they missing, you may be wondering. First, the reality. How does it really feel to experience your fantasies, fetishes and kinks? How does it feel physically, emotionally and mentally. Second, the after care.

BDSM online doesn’t involve aftercare. It’s all over once the climax happens. Each person leaves, some leave even before the end, some leave right after the end and some make excuses (not always polite) and leave.

It’s so easy to leave that way. You don’t have a real connection, just an Internet connection. Nothing like a real relationship where you share the same space emotionally, mentally and physically.

No wonder people doubt the sincerity and authenticity of online play. It really isn’t actually real. Not just the lack of commitment but the lack of real contact at all. Online play lacks real involvement, responsibility and shared emotion. No matter what anyone thinks or feels, it is all one sided.

I know because I have done online play. Not dabbled in it but actually spent months and years playing that way. I defended it then too. But, I knew reality was very different. I had reality with my husband. (No I was not cheating on him, we weren’t married very long and I played before and after).

Online play is lonely.

Online play leaves you wanting more. That only works in show business. Wanting more is not good when it happens to you. It makes you needy, clingy and very sad.

Anyway, it’s a shame there is no aftercare with online play. It could make all the difference to the people involved. But, I think that is the attraction for most of them. Even as they yearn for something real they don’t want to give anything real to someone else. They seek care but want it all for themselves. Is that why there are so many more women as BDSM submissives than Domme online?

So many interesting questions and I’m just here talking to myself. But, it’s real. Until I find someone who can share something real with me I’d rather be alone than feel even more alone while I’m with someone else.

Once a BDSM scene has physically ended, the connection between Dom and sub is still very much active, learn how best to deal with aftercare.

Source: The Importance of Aftercare | bdsm-talk.co.uk

Wikipedia’s Greatest Sex Illustrator Is an Anonymous Legend

His style is unmistakable, and nearly as striking as his subject matter: Clean vector graphics, gradient colors, blank and ominous backgrounds.

 

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Across Wikipedia, dozens of articles on sex–from missionary position to mammary intercourse–are adorned by strikingly graphic illustrations from the same mysterious illustrator. Here, we’ve collected a few of the artist known only as Seedfeeder’s greatest works.

Anyone who remains anonymous is forever a mystery. That’s the allure. Seedfeeder will be remembered and remain part of history long after others who took credit for their work are forgotten.Their images may live on – but their names won’t. In the long run Seedfeeder may be remembered longer than those who have names.