What are men for? I’ve never come up with a really good answer for that. I’ve been married, divorced, I’ve been a daughter and a sister and even a niece and a granddaughter. The farther the men are from your direct social circle the better it seems to be, over all. I thought my Grandfather was great. Of course, I’m particularly partial to my brother as well but I’ve known him longer than any other man.
Sure there are some good times, when things are going well. Sure they have some usefulness when it comes to brawniness. They can do things like opening stuck jar lids most of the time. They can reach stuff on a high shelf, though it’s usually themselves who put it there cause women have more sense. If you don’t like to kill bugs you should find a man who isn’t squeamish about it. But, that’s more a ying and yang thing. You could have a friend who squishes the bugs for you too, you don’t have to be dating or married to get your bugs squished. Never marry a guy just because you like the way he squishes bugs.
Men will want to tell us they are good for sex and reproduction. But, honestly, that only works so well for them. Men expect to be demanding about sex. Women expect to be romanced about sex. Two different directions. Also, when she finishes the last load of laundry, unloads the dishwasher and then thinks she could just fall into bed she isn’t likely to want to another load of anything. My Dad was of the generation of men who came home from work, ate dinner and then watched TV until he went to bed. No household chores, though he did do some child care, when he was pushed into it. I don’t know how much sex my parents had after my little sister (kid #4) was born. I doubt it was a lot. By the time I was a teenager they were sleeping on different floors of the house, let alone different beds.
So if men aren’t really needed for sex or reproduction or bug killing and we buy some gadget to open the jars and a step ladder for the high shelves… what do you need a man around the house for?
The roles of men in a relationship and a family are changing. On TV we see the fantasy story of men who do dishes. Yet, notice how the house is already immaculate. Quite a conception, those homes that don’t need dusting and the jobs people have that they only seem to spend an hour at work and the rest of the day wandering the city on the phone. Everything works out in an hour on TV.
In real life men need to become involved, proactive. Bring some romance, some flowers and open some doors, to start with. Then offer to do dishes at home. If she’s the type who says no… don’t believe her! How many times do people say no when they really don’t mean it. Not about things like taking on work, at least. If a man comes home and walks past a laundry room with a load of clothes ready to be put in the machine does he ignore them and let her get to it, does he complain later that he has no clean underwear or does he just go ahead and load them into the machine?
A real man does laundry. In my opinion, that’s what men are for. Someone who makes a home, a relationship and a family with you. No wonder more women are getting divorced or not really wanting to marry at all. If you don’t have that partnership you’re just taking on another full time job without any real benefits.
If I get married again, I want the partnership. I want a man I can come home to and be happy to see. I don’t want to come home to loads of work and dick in my bed at night.