Retro Internet: The 1500 Point Purity Test

Long ago, in the days of the Internet surfing highway, there was a purity test with over 1000 questions. I found a copy of it. Posted for your viewing (or take the test) pleasure.

THE UNISEX PURITY TEST

If you thought the millenial purity test was bad, well you ain’t see
nuttin’ yet!

This is the 1500 point Purity Test!

We felt that the 1000 point version lost a lot of the “fun” of the
earlier versions, so we re-wrote it, adding a few new sections, and
a shitload of questions. This test is guaranteed to be nosier that
your parents, more invasive than the census, and containing something
to offend everybody.

Also included is an answer form so that you can remember where in the
test you were, or show to a friend.

Read more

What Are Men For?

What are men for? I’ve never come up with a really good answer for that. I’ve been married, divorced, I’ve been a daughter and a sister and even a niece and a granddaughter.  The farther the men are from your direct social circle the better it seems to be, over all. I thought my Grandfather was great. Of course, I’m particularly partial to my brother as well but I’ve known him longer than any other man.

Sure there are some good times, when things are going well. Sure they have some usefulness when it comes to brawniness. They can do things like opening stuck jar lids most of the time. They can reach stuff on a high shelf, though it’s usually themselves who put it there cause women have more sense. If you don’t like to kill bugs you should find a man who isn’t squeamish about it. But, that’s more a ying and yang thing. You could have a friend who squishes the bugs for you too, you don’t have to be dating or married to get your bugs squished. Never marry a guy just because you like the way he squishes bugs.

Men will want to tell us they are good for sex and reproduction. But, honestly, that only works so well for them. Men expect to be demanding about sex. Women expect to be romanced about sex. Two different directions. Also, when she finishes the last load of laundry, unloads the dishwasher and then thinks she could just fall into bed she isn’t likely to want to another load of anything. My Dad was of the generation of men who came home from work, ate dinner and then watched TV until he went to bed. No household chores, though he did do some child care, when he was pushed into it. I don’t know how much sex my parents had after my little sister (kid #4) was born. I doubt it was a lot. By the time I was a teenager they were sleeping on different floors of the house, let alone different beds.

So if men aren’t really needed for sex or reproduction or bug killing and we buy some gadget to open the jars and a step ladder for the high shelves… what do you need a man around the house for?

The roles of men in a relationship and a family are changing. On TV we see the fantasy story of men who do dishes. Yet, notice how the house is already immaculate. Quite a conception, those homes that don’t need dusting and the jobs people have that they only seem to spend an hour at work and the rest of the day wandering the city on the phone. Everything works out in an hour on TV.

In real life men need to become involved, proactive. Bring some romance, some flowers and open some doors, to start with. Then offer to do dishes at home. If she’s the type who says no… don’t believe her! How many times do people say no when they really don’t mean it. Not about things like taking on work, at least. If a man comes home and walks past a laundry room with a load of clothes ready to be put in the machine does he ignore them and let her get to it, does he complain later that he has no clean underwear or does he just go ahead and load them into the machine?

A real man does laundry. In my opinion, that’s what men are for. Someone who makes a home, a relationship and a family with you. No wonder more women are getting divorced or not really wanting to marry at all. If you don’t have that partnership you’re just taking on another full time job without any real benefits.

If I get married again, I want the partnership. I want a man I can come home to and be happy to see. I don’t want to come home to loads of work and dick in my bed at night.

Sensual Discipline

Sensual Discipline
Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Wednesday July 24, 2002

Being a Domme should be about doing what turns you on, not about satisfying all of his whims, fetishes and turn ons. You are the one in charge after all. Otherwise, what do you really get out of it? Sure, its nice to please your mate, but that’s not the name of this game. You please him by pleasing you. So, wipe your slate clean and start fresh, with a new mind set.

First, consider tossing out are those fetish wear clothes and heels. Unless you really do find pleasure in wearing them, why torture yourself? Think of something practical, like boots you can stomp around in. In your mind play “These boots were made for walking” and get yourself walking in a new pair of sexy, woman in charge boots. Spike heels optional. When you think of clothes why wear something expensive in leather. Check out some denim, its washable and easy to wear. As we all know, cotton breathes. If you can sew put together an outfit, maybe a dramatic cape too.

Once you’re dressed for success put yourself in the picture. Think of things YOU would really like to do to or with him. If having him kiss your feet turns you off, his feet fetish is on the back burner. Instead, have him brush your hair, wash it too. Or he can be of some use polishing your nails, running your bath water, making dinner and cleaning everything up afterwards. Be creative but don’t cater to his desires unless you want the same things. Do you hate cleaning the bathroom, would you like a servant to scrub your back in the shower, would you like a bouquet of fresh flowers sent to your work or would you just like to see him naked and waiting for you to make use of him, hoping that you will notice him sometime before the evening news.

You might not even want to play this game at all. It could be all his nagging, pestering or demands have put you right off the whole thing and its become a job you have to do. Take some time off from it, regroup and see if there is some aspect of this you could enjoy. Experiment on him. Tie him to a chair for the morning and just leave him there. Blindfold him, gag him, play with him or ignore him – he is totally in your hands. This is one time when the pace of the foreplay (or sex) is all up to you.

Find new things for him to do, household chores, pampering you, or spending a day at your mercy. The most important thing is to remember you are the one he should be pleasing, not the other way around.