It’s true that I do have some odd interests. Some I would not admit to, ever. Some I would consider doing with the right person. Not all sexual things, actually most things are not about sex at all. It’s just on my mind at the moment.
Let’s talk about John for a moment. We met about 2 months ago now, all contact through email. At first it was cause I was working on the business proposal and we had just met anyway. Then he was sick, then he needed to sort out his own life: find another job, move and his computer was eaten by a virus. All of these are reasonalble things, it’s just bad timing, right. I’m getting echos in my head of Todd and Eric. When men end relationships by ignoring you and hoping you will go away, it rubs off. I don’t really think John is hoping I will go away but… I don’t know for sure. I could be wrong. I was wrong before, twice. I don’t want to be the only one hanging on again. It sucks. It’s a huge blow to the ego, the pride, the grrl who is still in here and thinks there is a chance she can find someone (even still).
So, I have been sad and lonely, even more than before. Missing a man I’ve never met and who may actually have dumped me. I can’t be sure. He seemed to be feeling things for me, as I was/ am feeling things for him.
So, I began reading the personals at Craigslist again. Just out of interest, some kind of hobby I could do online seeing as I am routinely glued to this computer day after day.
I read an ad from a guy who was looking for a woman into induced lactation. I read it a couple of times, curious. I didn’t find much online about it. You may wonder why I even looked, but I was mainly curious, somewhat sexally stimulated too. That would be quite a lot of dedicated breast sucking after all. In the end I think that was the real turn on for me. I investigated it, I emailed the man with the ad. But, the practical side of adult breastfeeding means you become a slave to your own boobs. You need to be there and accounted for every four hours. Can you imagine living like that? If you had a baby it would be do-able. You’d need to be there as a babysitter as well as a baby feeder. But to do that for an adult would be a huge cramp in your style.
For one thing, just think of the last time you were out somewhere. Were you gone more than four hours? I take my nephew out to the movies and book store shopping, we spend more than four hours out together. If I take a course at the local college I would be gone for the day. It is interesting all the things we do when you sort them into time slots of four hours.
So, the breastfeeding relationship won’t be up and coming for me. I will stick with ordinary breast worship. But I want it now. I’m not willing to keep being patient. I’ve been a good grrl a long time. It’s wearing a bit thin around the edges.
Anyway, just thought I’d share. Keeps me from being completely boring.