Real FemDom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

The link below offers a fairly traditional list of FemDom fetishes and kinks. I read the list and then thought: I don’t actually want most of that. Or, if I do, it’s not really all that interesting after a short time. Not for me, individually, personally.

Women as Doms are pushed to perform for male submissives. Stop and think… What do you actually want?


Foot worship… slobber on your feet and foot wear. How attractive is that? Get him to pamper your feet in practical ways: manicures, leg waxing and massage. Change foot worship into foot service and reap the rewards!

Chastity… really means chastity for both of you. Would you prefer having him make love to you – the way you want him to? Yes, you can have him perform and give you an orgasm but is that really enough for you? Chastity works better as a tease than a reality. Long periods of time spent in chastity are usually just in stories, not fact.

Sissy play… Do you really like seeing him feminized? How does that make you feel about being a woman yourself? I don’t like sissy play. Not because I don’t like the torment of putting him into high heels, a frilly pair of panties, etc. But, I feel there is an aspect of sissy play which minimalizes women and being a woman.

Spanking… play, punishment, pleasure…? Do you enjoy giving a spanking? Do you like the exercise you get from it? By the end of the spanking do you have bruises too?

Bondage and teasing I do like. But, I make sure I’m doing both my way. I make sure I’m enjoying teasing him and I prefer mental bondage to the risk of tools and gadgets which are really physical objects to symbolize the actual control and power. Physical bondage works when I want to see him struggle and squirm and he likes being able to do so.

Roleplay… I do enjoy adding flavour with roleplay. But, how do you feel about it yourself? Does some of it feel silly, over done? Do you enjoy it or is it a performance and you’re glad when it’s over and you can be yourself again?

Learn how domination can boost your confidence and bring you closer to your man with these sexy femdom ideas that you can cater to your interests!

Source: 10 Femdom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

Introduction to Light Bondage

How to Dom with Light Bondage

  • Restraints
  • Sensual Deprivation
  • Discipline
  • Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don’t want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can’t get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don’t have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive – knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don’t take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I’m not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don’t want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don’t skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.

Beginners Guide for Becoming a FemDom

held captive

BDSM has been exploding ever since Fifty Shades of Grey. Women who had lost touch with their sexual selves were now running back to their partners and jumping into bed with a new level of enthusiasm, lust and need. Bondage toys were flying off the shelves of internet stores like Adam & Eve, hardware stores sold out of rope and BDSM classes and tutorials were over-booked. But all of this BDSM focused on the woman being the submissive and the man being the dominant. Nothing spoke to the woman who wanted to be the dominant, making it seem like that wasn’t the natural way of things and that the woman had to be submissive. Well, Fifty Shades of Grey fanatics would be wrong. Being a female dominant, frequently abbreviated to FemDom, can be just as fulfilling and rewarding as being a submissive, if not more. But where and how do you begin?

Maybe you’re here because you want to take on the FemDom position in your current relationship or are looking to start one? Perhaps, your partner really wants you to do it and you just don’t know how, whatever the case, it’s important to read as much as you can about the lifestyle and step in slowly. An interesting fact is that there are far fewer FemDoms than submissives, so if you were looking to start a new relationship, you’re likely to have a good amount of men to choose from. FemDoms are also not those cliche images you see of them in movies and shows–the overly latexed, gothic girl, who’s ready stomp on your brain. You can certainly wear whatever you want and a costume is a great way to get into the mood, but if you’re not a leather, latex and spike kind of girl, you don’t have to do it. You can be a FemDom in an apron and 50s style dress if you want. It’s all about attitude, the outfit is just for show.

When you’re beginning your foray into domination, make sure you keep open communication with your partner. It is likely they’ve been on board from the start if they were prompting you to do so or knew you were interested, but you should still talk about limits. What kind of domination do they like? Are they ok with pain? What kind and how much? You might be controlling them, but you still need to set initial parameters to make sure no one gets hurt. It’s also key to set up a safe word that you can both use when things are becoming too much.

A really great way to get the relationship started is by assigning names to each other. Make him call you mistress, your highness, master…whatever you want. And make sure he is only referred to as something demeaning like slave, pussy etc.

When it comes to domination, you have to assert your power and control. You can do this by teasing your partner, humiliating them and punishing them. These things may be totally new for you, so ease in them slowly if you feel a little uncomfortable demanding your partner do things.

Teasing can be as easy as tying up your partner and then sitting on their face, blindfolding them, making them kneel for you, telling them they can’t come until you want them to, forcing them to get you off over and over again. Assert your dominance, get the pleasure you want and deny them of theirs.

Humiliation will come into play when they will do anything for you and anything to get off. This can be a lot of fun. You can make him do housework for you (two birds with one stone!), dress up like a girl, put a leash and collar on him, make him give you a massage, or make him use a dildo on himself. Be inspired by the moment and just go with it. It will be fun to see how far he will go.

Punishment can be a hard one to get used to if you’re not used to watching your partner be in pain–but you have to remember, it’s what they want. You can try ball gagging them, hog-tying, spanking or whipping them, denying them orgasm for an extended period of time, or even use nipple clamps on them. This is where its important to remember their limits and be aware of their threshold for pain.

Once you start experimenting, you’ll find a rhythm and figure out what you and your partner like and what works for you. From there keep exploring, keep reading and take part in some lifestyle events where you can meet more people like you and learn from others. Have fun and be open-minded!

Note: This is a guest post. Not all of the opinions are the same as my own.