Keep the Courtship Alive


This is a real personal ad from Edmonton, Alberta.
You are a busy woman with a great life. You miss a man in your life, but don’t miss the ego they usually come with. This great looking physically fit man is looking for you. You make the rules and rule the nest. He willingly follows. Your dinner is ready after a long day, your bath is ready – you will be towelled off and then your lotion applied. The shopping is done and the house is clean. Your man cleans up real well and is an excellent outing sidekick. You walk hand in hand, always knowing who really wears the pants. All of your other ‘needs’ are met on cue. I am physically fit and active and you should be the same. Interested?
How could a woman not be interested in that? It’s like having your own butler, manservant or going back to the early days in a relationship where the man goes out of his way to be pleasing – courtship. Why do men stop courting and romancing their women? Do they forget? Do they get too busy? Do they lose interest?
Whatever the reason, I think women need to take back some of the power they give out in a relationship. Stop being the one trying to make things work and be the one who must be pleased instead. If he wants something from you let him deserve it rather than just expect it. Don’t let yourself be taken for granted when there are other options. Options which you can emjoy.
I think this is why women should try to have female led relationships (as they seem to be called these days rather than FemDom and sub or Domme and slave/ slut).
Sex is part of it. But not where it begins or ends. It should begin with what she wants. What she really wants, not what he wants from her. That is a very fine point which gets lost frequently. If the woman can stay focused on keeping the relationship about what she wants and not let his wants sneak in, things can stay on track. Yes, he can get what he wants too. It is not all one way, there can be a balance. But, all too often his needs and wants are put first. She becomes secondarly and then the courtship is over. Again.
Keep the courtship alive. Men, let your women lead, stop telling her what you want. Instead find out what she wants. Do you really know or have you just been telling her what she should want?

He Who Will Serve

It’s not all official until you have a first real meeting I think. But, I have met a submissive male and he does sound good. Knows, really knows, that he is to serve me. I have met a lot of submissive males (so called) who quickly give me a list of what they want and how I should treat them, how I should make them behave and how they can please me. All of this ignores the fact that I know my own mind and I know how and when I want to be served. I don’t need a list given to me by the very man who says he wants to serve me. You can’t serve me if you are making up all the rules, treating me like a McDomme, a fast food service for your instant gratification all done your way.
These kind of submissive men seem immature in the long run. When I don’t fall into their plan they soon ignore me, forget my email or just don’t show up when they had said they would. Does this sound like a man you would expect to know how to serve you (if you were a Dominant woman)?
Finding a submissive man who is strong (in mind and body), mature (not just in age) and independent and creative is unusual, in my experience. Yet, I think it takes a strong man to really be a great submissive. If he has never been strong how can he really appreciate giving up some of his strength and power? You have to have it to lose it, right? Also, as a woman, it is a huge turn on to be the woman leading a man like that versus one who wants it too much and takes it too lightly.
I found a quiz for male submission today: The Male Submissive Potential Test.

When you Really Want to Serve Her But She Says No

I’ve been trying to find a submissive man to suit me for quite some time. Most have the wrong attitude. Pushy! Yes, you want to serve her, you want orgasm denial, you want, you want, you want you want you want you want. See a theme there?

I’m not putting you down, though you may feel that way as you read.

I’ve met lots of men who wanted to be submissive. They almost all think that means serving a woman in the way they want to do it. Wrong. If you are really serving a woman that means doing it her way. Maybe she doesn’t want to deny you an orgasm, maybe she likes sex and wants to have sex with you. Maybe she likes watching you play with yourself and seeing you come, or maybe she does not like that at all. Maybe she wants to tie you up and leave you there, ignored for awhile. Maybe she wants to spank you cause you’re really starting to piss her off with all your demands.

I’ve been frustrated with men who go on and on about what they want from a Dominant woman. They hardly stop to ask me what I want. They assume they know or they think any Dominant woman will want the same things they do, pulled from the same list. They assume there is some rule book that all Dominant women must follow in order to be Dominant women. To stray from that means they are not really Dommes. Wrong again.

If you want her to be Dominant, if you want to be female led then let it happen. Stop trying to take charge and have it all your way.

Is it possible you are already in a female led relationship and you just haven’t really noticed it? Maybe you have had what you wanted all along? Look at what you have rather than what you do not have.