How to Impress a Domme When Meeting for the First Time

male sub jewelsYou’ve gotten through her screening process and she has set a time and place for you to meet her, face to face. Now what? How do you make a good first impression on a real Domme when you meet for the first time? I don’t mean the type of Dominant woman you pay, the one who asks you what you want and tells you how much it will cost. No, I mean the Domme who is a real woman and wants more than a temporary job when she arranges to meet you.

Dress appropriately:

You are most likely meeting in a public place. If you wear any fetish wear be very discreet and don’t wave it around in public. Something small which you leave her to notice is much more effective than a blatant display.

Dress up too. Look your best and pay attention to grooming. Trim facial hair, clean your fingernails, etc.

Show up and be on time or a bit early:

Don’t be late! Too many times men do not show up or arrive late. If you are not ready to meet her (or only want to play pretend online) don’t make the appointment in the first place. Be honest.

Bring a little gift:

Nothing elaborate, you aren’t paying for her favours. Keep it simple but this is a chance for you to show some cleverness, creativity, style and prove that you actually did pay attention to what she has told you about herself so far.

Offer to buy the first coffee/ wine:

She may turn down the offer, but that doesn’t excuse you from offering. Be a gentleman and remember your old fashioned manners.

Make small talk:

Until she introduces the subject of BDSM or D/s you keep the conversation light. Consider this your first test, because it likely is one of the things she is watching for.

When the subject of BDSM or sex comes up don’t rush in:

Don’t bring your grocery list of fetishes and kinky ideas to the table. Of course you want to know if she shares your interests, however chances are your list is more fantasy than fact. Talk to her about actual experience you have had versus stuff you want to try, think would be a big turn on, etc. Stick to the facts. If she asks what you want to try and have not done yet, keep it modest. Don’t make yourself sound like a window shopper – keep it realistic.

Watch your personal space:

Do not invade her personal space. Keep your arms, hands, coffee mugs, wine glass and etc to your own side of the table. Body language counts!

Bring a business card if you have one:

Unless you are paying her (which this post is not about) you should be prepared to give her information about yourself. Proof that you are available, that she can contact you, that you trust her (and thus she can trust you too). If you do not have a business card make sure she has your correct phone number, email address or any other way of contacting you and then ask her to contact you.

To hug or not to hug:

At the end of your time, if all has gone well, you might want some physical contact. Let her lead, however you can offer your hand or ask permission to give her a hug, etc.

Do not ask for sex! Asking for sex just proves you don’t really have half a clue about male submission. If you want to serve her, your needs do not come first. Sex may not even be part of what she wants.

After the first meeting send her a thank you note:

Thank her for meeting you, tell her you had a good time, enjoyed getting to know her, and so on. Don’t ask for a second meeting – but you can tell her you hope to see her again soon. You can suggest a great place or local event for a second meeting, but leave it up to her to choose.

 

Why the Need for Extreme Fetishes?

I don’t think people need a lot of the extreme sort of fetishes. What it all comes down to is him being at the mercy of my whim, desire, or mood. All a Domme really needs to do is put him at risk in some way and keep him wondering. I have so many scenarios in my mind for play in public, in private, with gadgets or without, using language or total silence, etc. There is so much that can be done with the simplest and most ordinary things. Just sit him in a chair, blindfolded. Whisper about what you might be doing. No way for him to know if I’m doing anything more than checking my email or not…

Men who can’t let go and insist on having a huge list of fetishes and then giving directions and instructions spoil the whole thing. They make it bland and predictable. As the Domme it becomes a role you play, like reading a script. After awhile you’re really just waiting for him to be done so you can go off and check email or something more interesting.