Note: These are my opinions and thoughts as a straight woman who has talked to men who like to wear women’s clothes sometimes. I’m sharing this to help anyone who finds themselves in the situation of dating or considering to date a crossdressing man. Also, for men who are crossdressers and want to understand what a straight woman might think or feel. Having typed that – I’m not able to type for all women, just myself.
Being interested or active as a crossdresser does not mean a man is gay. It is possible, but it should not be assumed. So, if you are a straight man who likes to dress up in women’s fashion… how do you find a straight woman to have a relationship with? Of course, if you don’t want a relationship, there isn’t any point to talking about personal things like your fetish/ obsession/ interest in women’s clothes, cosmetics and so on. Unless you just want to get a reaction, kind of show-offy of you.
Also, if you aren’t straight, then why are you trying to attract women?
Lastly, crossdressing is mainly on the surface, once you pass that and get into transgender men there are different issues. Do not ignore or be dishonest about crossdressing and/ or transgender issues. If you have made that decision then stand by it and don’t expect a woman should like you in spite of it. If you hide something important to who you are, then how can you expect her understanding, tolerance or affection when you have made this part of you seem like something you had to hide.
Are women attracted to crossdressers? (Experience Project)
If there really is someone for everyone, as they say, then there is a chance crossdressers will find women who like, or tolerate at least, their interest. It may not go as far as sharing actual items of clothing, shaving gear and beauty supplies, but there could be a lot of fun going shopping together for fashion, cosmetics and lingerie.
There will be women who are intolerant. Whatever their reasons, just leave them alone. Crossdressing does make a lot of people uncomfortable and that is how it is. Don’t take it personally. Be careful about which of your family, friends, associates and co-workers you share your personal information with. Don’t think to use it as a means of shocking people or daring them to accept you as you are. That’s a bit childish. Also, if you want to find tolerance than you should be giving tolerance as well. Tolerate those who do not accept crossdressing.
Meanwhile, look for those who have an interest in crossdressing. Once you find a few people who share your interest you will find more places to find more people and groups and so on. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t meet someone right away. Make yourself available and be honest with the people you meet. Don’t try to become the person they want, if that isn’t the person you are.
Women are attracted to men who can make them happy, men who listen to them and women still like some romance. If you happen to be a crossdresser on top of that, it won’t seem so very important compared to everything else.
Being attractive to women as a crossdresser.
Women who do like crossdressers tend to prefer those who are still male, with all the standard parts and no female body parts (like boobs). I can understand this. Consider how you would feel, as a man who wants to date a woman, if the woman you liked was wearing a fake penis. Not so atrractive now? There is a reason straight women are straight, we like the male body with the hands bigger than our own, some chest hair possibly, a voice a bit deeper and other features which are kind of standard to the masculine.
Women might like a man who takes extra care with his appearance. I doubt too many women would find fault with a man who uses beauty products to polish his appearance. However, the further along you take that the less likely you will find women who will consider you as masculine.
I think the real problem for straight men who crossdress is women who see them and write them off as being gay.
I guess you could wear an “I’m not gay” pin, but that seems just a bit extreme. So, a straight guy needs to find other ways to make sure his sexuality is not ambiguous. It’s in your attitude.
Don’t go overboard in your appearance. If you exaggerate to the point of no longer looking like a man at all, how will women know you are a man, let alone a straight man? Also, how will she feel about people (family and friends) who see you together? Yes, it does matter whether you like it or think it shouldn’t. Does it matter to you that people think you are with an attractive woman?
Watch your body language. Do you come across as masculine in the way you walk, the way you stand and the way you speak? Is that what you want, the way you want people to see you? If you want to give off the appearance of being gay you should reconsider attracting straight women. A straight woman is likely to be looking for a straight man, crossdressing aside.
Use your knowledge and experience in being someone who steps between the lines to understand women and appreciate the time and care they put into their appearance. Treat her like someone special, hold open the door, take her arm in that old-fashioned way or hold her hand in public. Little things mean a lot and those romantic gestures can make her feel feminine and important to you. Besides, if you are holding her hand – then she is also holding your hand.
Are you metrosexual or a full out crossdresser? Is it the female look which you like or do you just want to do more with your appearance than the common, traditional male standards? Maybe the issue isn’t crossdressing but self-acceptance. Something to consider.