The Astrology of Kink

The Astrology of Kink: The Sagittarius Adventure

Sagittarius is represented by the Centaur, half-human, half-horse. Ever visit a stud farm during breeding season? Equines who are otherwise decent-enough working animals are insane with the urge to breed; the only thing standing between the animals’ urges and utter rutting chaos is the intervention of human handlers.

It’s lucky for the rest of us, then, that Sagittarius has its human handler built in — if they’ll stoop to obeying him or her, that is. The sex drive is strong, impulsive, and somewhat conquest-oriented, and some Centaurs end up with more notches on their bedposts than Virgo has little pills.

Sagittarius has the ability to easily separate sex from emotion. Security and intimacy are important to Sagittarius, but are not necessarily linked to their fiery physical drives. Spontaneous sexual adventures and one-night stands are usually guilt-free; Sagittarians hate restrictions of all kinds, and the occasional bout of unrestrained sexual freedom can be deeply satisfying in a way that other signs might not readily understand.

Sagittarians also make fantastic sex workers, especially if the job calls for live action on demand. They’re not necessarily the show-offs of the sex industry, but practicality and physical vigor more than make up for any lack of showmanship.

This is a mutable sign, and its ruler Jupiter lends a cavalier streak — Sagittarius will try anything once. They’re not fond of labels (labels equal limits) but will sometimes compromise outwardly in order to maintain security at home. Hence, you find a large number of naturally pansexual Sagittarians maintaining the appearance of a monosexual relationship, while dallying elsewhere with members of both sexes. They’re also attracted to the idea of open relationships, but, like their opposing sign Gemini, sometimes find even open agreements tough to keep; restrictions are restrictions, after all, no matter how generous!

Oddly enough, Sagittarius tends to pick up specific fetishes more readily than any other sign except for Virgo. Stocking fetishes, latex fetishes, more esoteric fetishes like pony play or other role-specific “musts” … you name it, a Sagittarius will adopt it, at least for a little while. The difference between Virgo and Sagittarius is persistence; a Centaur’s fetishistic interests tend to fade abruptly. This sign explores things thoroughly, yes, but then moves on to the next unexplored sexual arena with little warning and even less regret.

Both Mars and Venus in Sagittarius are equally prone to this adventurous outlook on sex. The Sagittarian Sun shares it, too, but most Centaur Suns tend to settle down eventually, and turn their expansive urges toward less physical conquests. No Sagittarian can tolerate excessive restrictions, though, no matter how settled they seem. Confinement is always uncomfortable, and when the horizon of possibilities begins shrinking around them, it’s only a matter of time before they react, with all the desperation of a claustrophobic mustang in a broom closet.

If you’re the kind of person who values spontaneity, adventure and fiery independence over certain security, you’ll love Sagittarius. Give them plenty of room to explore all the fascinating experiences life has to offer, and you’ll have a lover who is affectionate, playful and vital. Try to fence them in, and all you’ll have is an empty paddock. Think you can handle this free spirit? If you can, it’ll be the ride of a lifetime.

Source: The Astrology of Kink: The Sagittarius Adventure — Sasstrology.com

Beginners Guide for Becoming a Male Submissive

The BDSM experience is different for men and women, in several ways. Women are more careful about meeting men. Women may be looking for romance and affection, a relationship while men really just want sex. Women tend to get pushed into things they really don’t want to do, in order to keep the peace.

I often read people (men) claiming women into Domming are rare. In my experience this is not true. I encounter many women who would enjoy Domming men, if they could find one who meets their needs.

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Being a male submissive may not be what you think it is at all

There are very few men who understand what a Dom woman is looking for, what she actually wants. She does not want to be the Dom you see in pornography. If you are looking for a woman to fulfill all your porno fantasies of what male submission should be… pay for it. Professional sex workers will dress the part and read from whatever script you want, do it your way (as long as safety is considered) and give you what you want as you expect to have it.

Real women who Dom, just because they want to, will want to do things their own way. Real women Doms have their own fantasies, their own desires and plans for play, teasing, romance, seduction, torment and all their own fetishes and kinks. They will want you to please them and that may not include any of the fetishes and kinks you have been fantasizing about.

A real woman may not want a man slobbering on her shoes or expecting to wear her underwear, for instance.  Some women may like the idea of training men to submit while others think they should already be house broken.

Worship and begging may not appeal to her. For myself, both of these are a turn off. The real appeal of having a male submissive is that he be a man, strong, clever, manly and yet my submissive. Retain your dignity and be a male submissive worth having and keeping.

Before you Begin…

Decide if you actually want the reality.

Do you want a woman telling you what to do? Are you willing to be disappointed when she isn’t interested in doing what you want, the way you want it? Will you let her lead or will you try to pressure her into giving you what you want instead?

Do not manipulate your Dom. Yes, it is fun to have the erotic play of teasing, denial, struggling and so on… but it should be sincerely part of the fun and not “topping from the bottom”. Two people sincerely invested in D/s can have a lot of fun, pleasure and explorations. If you top from the bottom (manipulate your Dom) you cheat yourself from ever having the real experience of submitting, serving and discovering the pleasure of being a male submissive in reality.

Also, no Dom woman likes to be manipulated. We get this from almost every so-called male sub on dating sites and etc. It is very discouraging. If you wonder why there are so few women into Domming – this would be the number one reason.

If you can’t let go of your expectations then consider paying for what you want and getting it from a McDomme (paid to do it your way).

What are you really willing to do?

Too many men have a list of fetish and kink ideas but no thoughts about the reality. This is especially a bad idea when it comes to health and safety. There are several things which will sound good on paper or turn you on when you watch a video… but reality is not like that. Reality is messier, reality is less planned and professional, less perfect and reality has accidents and misunderstandings.

Never say you are willing to do anything/ everything. Because you aren’t. No one is – unless it’s make believe and pretend.

Read about the reality of your fetishes and kinks. Instead of watching the porn find someone who really has done it and read about their experience. What went wrong, what didn’t work and how did they learn to do it better or another way. Research the reality. Even if you have no experience you can read the experience of others (just not the porn version).

Consider safety and be practical about it

If you have issues such as allergies, a phobia, dislikes put together a list of these issues. Personally, I don’t like having something close around my neck or mouth because I grew up with asthma. I’m also allergic to animals which limits the places and people I can spend time with to some extent. These are things to be aware of, for yourself and the woman Dom you would like to meet.

Although safety and health are more up to the Dom in a D/s relationship you can’t expect her to know your needs, read your mind or use telepathy to know there is a problem.

Safe words are not that reliable. If there is a real problem, something sudden, you need communication which won’t be forgotten in the moment or confused with something else.  A direct safe word, like stop, is better than trying for some secret code you may not remember when you need it. If you use the safe word for effect rather than actually needing it the play stops anyway. Respect the safe word – it’s not a game.

Communicate and talk about anything you plan to do. Start simple and leave yourself room to back out or change the plan. you may think you want to start with the hard stuff but discover your feelings were far more involved when it was actually happening. It is possible to discover you  have a phobia or intense dislike you didn’t know you had until you tried something. This can be especially true with bondage. Actually being confined is not just as you imagine it to be. Explore and experiment with baby steps and savour the experiences as you go.

Submission is not a gift

Years ago the idea that submission is a gift started in the online BDSM groups. This is not the right attitude. Domination is just as much a gift, if you want to consider either of them a gift at all.

You have chosen to submit and your Dom has chosen to lead you, to control you and to own you (up to a point). She is not likely to want to micro-manage you. Being the Dom is a responsibility. It’s not easy and it is not something to take lightly. People can get hurt physically, mentally and emotionally. Both of you need to communicate to prevent problems. The gift is the relationship itself, when you can find it.

Explore and discover

  • Try blindfolding yourself in your own bed. How does it feel? Does the blindfold itch? Do you feel peaceful?
  • Sit on your hands next time you’re alone watching TV. How long can you keep yourself in this self-bondage? How uncomfortable is it?
  • Sit under a table, let it become your cage. Does the confinement bother you? Do you feel snugly caged or just trapped?
  • Try being naked when you are home alone. With the blinds or curtains closed stand naked in front of the window. Even knowing no one can see you do you get a thrill or can you not even do it at all?
  • Buy a dog collar for yourself. No one has to know you don’t have a dog (or your dog won’t be wearing this one). Wear the collar but wrap it around your wrist the first day (not your neck).
  • Even before you have a Dom you can practice serving her tea. Dress up (she doesn’t want pubic hair in her tea cup), make a plate up with pretty treats and serve tea in a teapot with a fancy teacup and saucer for her.

The reality is much different from the fantasy. Reality isn’t the porn version because it’s not scripted and the people are not actors. However, you can actually be one of the people involved rather than watching and wishing from the sidelines. Just make sure you want the reality, imperfect but not impersonal.