The Nice Grrl

Families really do complicate things. I can’t tell mine anything any more. They want you to fit into the nice grrl mould and if you crack the mould even slightly there is something seriously wrong and bad about you. I talked about being Pagan and that shook them up but the weeble wobbled back into place, more or less. I told them I wrote erotica and that was too much. For a long time I was ‘dirty’ and it took awhile for them to decide I wasn’t bad. They don’t know I still write erotica and they have no idea that the men I meet are from BDSM sites and so on. It really does give you a lot to work on with your own self image. It’s a joke really. People who meet me say I’m so nice, sweet, etc. Most have no idea who I really am. I guess we are all like that. Or that’s what I assume.

Bloody Boring Rubbish

I’m tired. What a boring post. There are lots of things I could write about but I’m just too tired. Bloody, boring, rubbish. Just go read something else.

Did I mentin my plan to go downtown in Toronto and attend a BDSM munch on the 6th? I don’t really want to go anymore. I don’t feel enthusiastic or hopeful. But, it will be an adventure. I could write about it all in agonizing detail for the adult BW column.

What I’d really like is to meet someone, a guy who isn’t a dickhead. A guy who really wants a woman in his life and not just someone to play games with. I’m so tired of being disappointed and lied to, one way or another.

I’m a good person. I’m a nice girl. I’m cute. Dammit! I deserve more than a dickhead and I deserve to find someone who can put as much passion, creativity and honesty into loving me as I can give to him.

Bite me!