Shameless Blogging

I just posted this for the Erotica community at Adult BackWash.

Is your life enough of a soap opera or do you embellish it for your blog? Admit it… you’ve played with a few details, added an inch or taken a mile, here and there. It’s all for the cause of the readable blog. We all want readers, feedback, numbers on our traffic counters. Being human is human.

What if you traded in the whole truth thing and went for the complete fiction. I’ve read blogs that were blatantly fiction. Unashamed to be totally inspired rather than perspired. Is it bad? Is it wrong? Why do you care! It’s a blog, not life and death. Have fun, take it as far as you can and see what happens. Experiment and explore and live the fantasy in text.

How far would you go, if you could go? Toss out the politically correct, the inbred values and do anything and everything. What comes to mind first? What taboo will you plunge into? No need to think twice, if you’re timid about it go for the anonymous blog. After all, do you really want to meet anyone who would read the stuff you plan to write?

Have fun, keep on blogging. 🙂

Falling Out of Love

The following is from a messageboard post on Adult BackWash. I quoted my own posts only, below the fragment that set me off. This is definitely a sore point for me. I’ve had it happen twice now, with different men. Luckily I was only married to the first one.

#…or if later down the road your feelings change and you have to hurt them to get out of the relationship.

That’s bullshit. If you’re that immature you should never be in a relationship. I went through about a year of hell cause he was too big of a weenie to say he had changed his mind. You have no excuse for pulling that kind of crap on anyone.

Falling out of love is BS. You were never in love if you can fall out of it. People drift apart and all that crap because they’d rather have disposable marriages than stick together and get through the bland, the hard, the years of being together. If you love someone, you love them. You don’t fall out of love with your children or your pets. You may not always like them but you don’t just stop loving them.

Hurting someone to get out of a relationship is the act of a weenie. If you “fell out of love” you tell them up front. You don’t piss around for weeks, months, years and leave them wondering what THEY did. You be direct and tell them you failed and don’t have staying power. Anyone who can’t be at least that honest with someone they claim to have loved should never get involved with anyone, ever.

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying –
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

Dorothy Parker

Writing Erotica

For the Adult BackWash column this evening/ early morning, I wrote about writing erotica. Here for your viewing pleasure…

Writing is always taking a chance, putting yourself out there, on a limb. I think that is even more so when you are writing fiction with fewer guides to track yourself and maintain your anonymity. You are putting more of yourself on paper than you think at the time, if you’re doing a good job. Especially when you write about sex. It’s already a taboo, hushed up subject. So, to write about your personal sex life or your thoughts about the whole thing in general is kind of setting yourself up for a fall each time. You are exposing yourself to the judgment of the masses. Not so different from getting into a car every day and hoping no one will smash into you. We trust the other drivers to be self interested enough to avoid accidents. But, when you are writing, the self interest is all on the writer’s side. The reader is a complete unknown, out to please themselves.

Anyway, I decided to write about writing erotica. Most of the rules are the same when it comes to punctuation, grammar, spelling all that proper rules of the page sort of thing. I think the biggest challenge for writing erotica is keeping it from being boring. As if sex could be boring, right? Well, it can. Try reading the same thing a hundred times. He puts it in her, she likes it, they come. There, that’s a sex scene. Was it good for you?

While you wipe yourself down…

When a story has no real plot or character development, just mechanical sex with a lot of naughty words and phrases tossed in it becomes more stroke fiction than erotic fiction. This might please a reader who just wants to jack off but someone who wants to actually become aroused and linger in arousal leading to foreplay, will be disappointed and likely frustrated too.

Another unique challenge to writing about sex, the name calling. What do you call it? My personal preference is cock for the penis. It has a blend of cuteness and crudeness that I seem to favour. As far as the vagina, I’ve sort of settled on pussy for lack of anything better. I don’t like it though. If something else comes along I’ll be glad to switch. There are so many variations for breasts, vagina, penis, butt, sex, come and so on. As the writer you have to find words you can live with and words your readers won’t laugh at or not understand.

Avoid 10 inch cocks, breasts like watermelons, anything that will seem improbable to your readers. Errors of mechanics are just that, things that easily believed. You can’t have a character doing something that he/ she couldn’t physically do. That is where really proofreading your work comes in. See the action in your head as you read it over. Make sure it’s clear who is doing what to whom.

Erotic writing tends to use a lot of metaphors and similes. Things like “her pussy was wetter than the whole of Lake Ontario”. I’d personally choose not to use that one, though I did just make it up on the spot. (Don’t blame someone else). You want to keep your metaphors as part of the action, don’t make them stand out and drag readers out of the story and into your writing. The idea is to keep them fully involved in the action, not in your sensational writing. Also, use phrases that don’t sound gross or silly.

Break up your sentences and paragraphs. The breaks are the spots where the reader breathes and moves onto the next part of the action/ plot. You can also use short sentences to spike the action. A short sentence gets attention and stands out. But don’t go overboard. Any writing should have transitional sentences at the end of one paragraph and the start of the next, it keeps things flowing without awkward pauses while the reader catches up with you.

Don’t forget to use dialogue. This also breaks up the story and keeps it interesting. Reading solid text is boring. Just pick up a text book and see how erotic you feel. Reading solid chunks of text takes patience. When the action is moving fast your sentences and paragraphs should be short. Using dialogue is one way to keep things short and moving.

Sex is a sensual thing, it involves the five senses: touch, sight, smell, sound and taste. Include them in your writing. It brings things to life for the reader. Bringing senses into play draws them into the scene and the ongoing action.

Yet again, character development and motivation. Even erotica should have some point or reason. Why are your characters interested in each other? What are they thinking? How do they look? Who are they? When is all this happening? Give some purpose to the sex. Develop the erotica into a storyline, make things happen besides two bodies bumping together.

At the end, you need a conclusion, something to mark the end, to let the reader know it’s over and (hopefully) something to leave them wanting more. Articles and stories without some kind of conclusion aren’t artsy or dramatic, just frustrating. Remember, the point of erotica is for everyone (reader and writer) to have a good time.