Romance

This web domain began with the idea of being about recovering from divorce. I’m not forgetting that. My ex-husband was also a good friend. That’s not something you get over very quickly, or easily. So this blog has merged with a site I started on Blogger, Romance and Bondage. I think they are a good fit, for me. Whoever finds this is welcome to read. I think it’s a good balance to have a blog about romance, sex, and relationships. In my own way, of course.

This is my original About page for Divorce Darling. I’m not changing the original message.

After the divorce it’s time for you to sparkle, darling!

If I could give some kind of support to any other woman going through, or just getting to the end of the tunnel with a divorce, I would tell her to sparkle. Don’t forget to sparkle.

Don’t forget how to sparkle. Especially on your worst days, find something that brings the life back into you. Take a day off when you can and go somewhere that brings you peace. Buy yourself something just a bit luxurious, decadent even. Treat yourself even if all you can afford is some cheap sparkly thing at the thrift shop or dollar store.

Zsa Zsa Gabor, Mae West and the others had it right. They were feminists before it was political. They were dripping in diamonds, glamorous and they had the attitude of a woman who had found her place in the world and was not too polite to keep it. They could be sexy and sexual at a time when women were not supposed to talk about sex. Somehow they created their own world around them as they wanted it to be. However things were going and however they felt on any particular day, they sparkled on the outside and seeing them, I believed they must sparkle on the inside too.

Divorce isn’t a time to be sad for too long. Take what you can get out of it then rebuild your life, better and brighter than ever before. Become your own phoenix, don’t linger in the ashes. Ashes blow away if you let them.

7 thoughts on “Romance

  1. Your advice about “don’t forget to sparkle” applies to men too. It is something I failed to do, after my divorce. I did treat myself occasionally. This helped a little. For a long time I felt quite isolated, even when surrounded by friends. The feeling is very like grief, after someone close passes away. This experience sadly becomes more common as one gets older. Perhaps not the most welcome part of getting older and wiser.

    I like the recovery imagery you conjure (above). I hope this worked for you, and the others with whom it was shared.

    Thank you

    ptathuk

  2. It took a long time but one day I just felt ok again. I didn’t feel angry and I began to feel connected to the world again. I don’t know if if I’d say I’m over it. But, I’m not being sucked down by it still. Progress. 🙂

    I really did feel like the phoenix, especially in the mid-early days, once I wasn’t feeling too numb to feel anything at all.

    Best wishes to you.

  3. Hi,

    Just came about your site. AMAZING!

    Question (if you want to answer it), are you still friends with your ex? Sometimes marriage doesn’t work for two people but that doesn’t mean they don’t like each other or can’t get along otherwise. That’s what it might be with you. I understand it’s kind of personal, you of course don’t have to answer it but I am just answering to this great post.

    Alex

    • It’s a more delicate friendship now. Broken and yet still held together. I very much remember the day his email address changed and I didn’t have any other way to contact him online. That was a jolt. I realized I did want to keep in touch, even before I wanted to rebuild the friendship. So that was how the friendship held up. I just didn’t want to lose it entirely. He is still someone I can trust. My family think we made such a great couple and don’t see why we don’t get back together. I can’t patch things back to be that way with him again, as a lover. But, we are friends. I don’t think I will ever be that close to anyone again. The burning up changed me and I don’t think I ever really want to be that close to anyone again now.

    • Its more than ten years now. I’m not hurting so much any more. Just not rushing to do it all over again. But, I am kind of a romantic so I never really give up on meeting someone. Thanks for your kind note.

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