Do We Really Need Men?

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Friday June 04, 2004  

I know about the whole opening jars, reaching high shelves and squishing icky bugs thing… but do we really need men? Think about it.

When was the last time you couldn’t open a jar by yourself? There are tricks you can figure out. I find running it under the warm water tap and then hitting it around the edges with a knife handle works well. Also smack it on the bottom a few times and see if that sucker doesn’t loosen up.

Next, reaching things. Not every guy is actually tall enough to reach things you can’t reach yourself. Consider getting a step ladder for the rest. Step ladders are pretty much maintenance free.

Down to the bug issue. I have found men are just as icked out about bugs as most women I know. So, really, this is not an advantage to having a man around the house. Squish your own bugs, learn to trap them and flush or dump them outside. However you do it, you can get rid of the squickiest bug without the assistance of a man.

So, what’s left? Sex? Make me laugh! Every woman can learn how to do that herself. Plus no worries about diseasse, unwanted pregnancies or sleeping in wet spots. Quick, clean and to the point.

I used to think I’d like a robot man around. But, really, it would just be one more thing to dust. Get rid of the fantasy and stop looking for a man. Instead become your own man. Whatever you thought you needed from a man you can do for yourself. Just tap your ruby slippers a few times and think about not sharing a bathroom.

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