I’ve been trying to find a submissive man to suit me for quite some time. Most have the wrong attitude. Pushy! Yes, you want to serve her, you want orgasm denial, you want, you want, you want you want you want you want. See a theme there?
I’m not putting you down, though you may feel that way as you read.
I’ve met lots of men who wanted to be submissive. They almost all think that means serving a woman in the way they want to do it. Wrong. If you are really serving a woman that means doing it her way. Maybe she doesn’t want to deny you an orgasm, maybe she likes sex and wants to have sex with you. Maybe she likes watching you play with yourself and seeing you come, or maybe she does not like that at all. Maybe she wants to tie you up and leave you there, ignored for awhile. Maybe she wants to spank you cause you’re really starting to piss her off with all your demands.
I’ve been frustrated with men who go on and on about what they want from a Dominant woman. They hardly stop to ask me what I want. They assume they know or they think any Dominant woman will want the same things they do, pulled from the same list. They assume there is some rule book that all Dominant women must follow in order to be Dominant women. To stray from that means they are not really Dommes. Wrong again.
If you want her to be Dominant, if you want to be female led then let it happen. Stop trying to take charge and have it all your way.
Is it possible you are already in a female led relationship and you just haven’t really noticed it? Maybe you have had what you wanted all along? Look at what you have rather than what you do not have.
Found this while reviewing the adult blogs for Dmoz this afternoon. It was in a blog called Porn Junkie, but not written by him. His comment was a ‘me too’.
Porn Has Completely Destroyed Me
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: Sun Apr 24 20:46:15 2005
There was a time – I’d say pre 1999 – when I would have tolerated a girl with an errant fat roll, a mildly problematic ass, or even non-porcelain veneered teeth. And come to think of it, I might have even green lighted a B cup chest.
But with the installation of the high speed cable modem, alas, I am sad to say that those times have now passed. I now only want – and will only solicit affection from – girls with killer porn star looks and behavior.
I am ashamed and I do not like what now stimulates me, but the Internet, with all of its quick fix, crack-like vices, has made me extraordinarily intolerant.
Are you a Tufts or Harvard grad and a great conversationalist?
Do you have a quirky sense of humor and a knack for cooking Asian Fusion cuisine?
Would you like to discuss the sub-text meaning of the whip sawed brush strokes of that Kandinsky painting at the MFA?
Be the source of a blood rush and make me throw a rod in my pants or kindly turn into anti-matter.
I am ruined. I am dead on the inside. I am ashamed and embarrassed of what now stimulates me and I know that I am irrevocably changed for the worse. For all practical purposes, Internet porn has destroyed me.
So who am I? Not who you’d think. Not the dandruff-haired blob of smurf in the cube next to you. Not the UES Michigan frat boy. Not the faux disheveled Downtown hipster with the silly retro Puma sneakers.
Sadly, I am the “normal” one that you’re actually interested in. Cultured, eloquent, well dressed. I am the one you discuss with your girlfriends over Sunday brunch. I am the one you hope to bump into at Karen’s pajama themed apartment party. I am the one who takes the lead, holds doors, and hails cabs.
Do you dream of a man who will “love you just for you?”
Do believe that you have peripheral, intangible qualities that men of substance will key upon and gravitate to?
Do you shun the gym in favor of The Apprentice and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunkey Monkey, thinking that your black cigarette pants will sufficiently mask any belly spillage or ass expansion?
Then forget it. It’s game over. You’re a walking, talking non-compete clause and you’re going to end up alone with a slobbering oversized Rotweiller named Chuckles.
Pull your head out of your ass and be advised – porn viewing/obsession is spreading like the plague amongst my gender – upping the already unrealistic physical expectations, pushing boundaries in the bedroom (you’re down with anal, right?), and providing instant, customize-able sexual highs with the push of a button.
If you’re female and you don’t posess prodigal, Einsteinian caliber intelligence that would propel the cause of humanity forward, and, if you don’t relish the idea of being alone, then . . .
. . . throw every last dollar you have at your physical appearance.
I’m serious. Personal trainer. Porcelain veneers. High-end boob job. Get scared and get it done.
Do not extend my gender any credit. Do not hope that a guy will be in awe of your cello playing, your VP title, or your cute apartment.
I promise you he won’t care. Don’t kid yourself into thinking he will. Men are programmed to respond to the visual.
Look good or you’re alone.
I thought it was interesting cause 1st, how many women are going to be interested in a man this shallow? 2nd, I doubt he has porn star looks himself. What does he feel he can offer his perfect porn star woman? I think this is a sad social commentary and there will be a lot of people left alone, half of them men.