Romance Versus Reality

I happened to catch a re-run of a reality type TV show called, The Letters: Rediscovering the Art of Courtship.

Have you ever written a love letter or even a letter to someone you felt romantic about? Is it something you could do next time instead of emailing?

Here is the promotional copy written about the show on the GAPC Entertainment site:

If you’ve ever written a love letter or received one from an ardent admirer you will fall in love with Seasons 1 and 2 of The Letters: Rediscovering the Art of Courtship. It’s a different kind of TV show where sparks fly on paper instead of in hot tubs.

Ten Suitors set out to court a mysterious woman known to them only as “Roxanne,” but with one very romantic twist. They must woo her with the power of the pen. Anonymity is key as the Suitors and Roxanne never lay eyes on each other and use pen names to mask their true identities.

In each episode the Suitors embark on exciting challenges to inspire them in their letters to Roxanne while she must decide who stays and who goes…Until she is left with two Suitors and one final heart-stopping decision.

Whom will she choose to meet face to face for a very special first date? The Letters.Rediscovering the Art of Courtship motivates us all to spice up our own love lives. Who doesn’t appreciate getting a passionate love letter? It’s one of the most amorous gestures there is.

The Letters.Rediscovering the Art of Courtship provides all of the usual twists and turns that audiences have come to love about unscripted television… but with a difference.

It would be strange to be the “Roxanne” on this show, reading letters written by men you don’t know who are trying to court you. I think it would feel unreal, like the men could be writing to any woman, some generic woman, yet they are trying to catch your attention. Or, are they just trying to win? Is it romance for them or just the means to an end?

The felt rose necklace comes from Evalinen on Etsy.

Keep the Courtship Alive


This is a real personal ad from Edmonton, Alberta.
You are a busy woman with a great life. You miss a man in your life, but don’t miss the ego they usually come with. This great looking physically fit man is looking for you. You make the rules and rule the nest. He willingly follows. Your dinner is ready after a long day, your bath is ready – you will be towelled off and then your lotion applied. The shopping is done and the house is clean. Your man cleans up real well and is an excellent outing sidekick. You walk hand in hand, always knowing who really wears the pants. All of your other ‘needs’ are met on cue. I am physically fit and active and you should be the same. Interested?
How could a woman not be interested in that? It’s like having your own butler, manservant or going back to the early days in a relationship where the man goes out of his way to be pleasing – courtship. Why do men stop courting and romancing their women? Do they forget? Do they get too busy? Do they lose interest?
Whatever the reason, I think women need to take back some of the power they give out in a relationship. Stop being the one trying to make things work and be the one who must be pleased instead. If he wants something from you let him deserve it rather than just expect it. Don’t let yourself be taken for granted when there are other options. Options which you can emjoy.
I think this is why women should try to have female led relationships (as they seem to be called these days rather than FemDom and sub or Domme and slave/ slut).
Sex is part of it. But not where it begins or ends. It should begin with what she wants. What she really wants, not what he wants from her. That is a very fine point which gets lost frequently. If the woman can stay focused on keeping the relationship about what she wants and not let his wants sneak in, things can stay on track. Yes, he can get what he wants too. It is not all one way, there can be a balance. But, all too often his needs and wants are put first. She becomes secondarly and then the courtship is over. Again.
Keep the courtship alive. Men, let your women lead, stop telling her what you want. Instead find out what she wants. Do you really know or have you just been telling her what she should want?