Why Don’t More Women Dom Men?

CaptureI think there would be far more women as BDSM Dominants if women understood what it really is. The male version is just a fantasy, their fantasy. The porn version is fiction, created for men who like the fantasy. So, women don’t really see what Domming is, just the FemDom fiction.

A woman who likes to Dom is not mean, vicious or nasty. It’s not about causing harm or taking out your frustrations. It’s about power, fun, creativity, romance and sensuality, among other things. I like to focus on the creativity and sensuality. (That makes it fun for me).

How many women would love to have control of their man if they really did have control? Tell him what you want, how you want it and when you want it… and he obeys. It works for the men who are submissive too.

There is no guarantee of sex with BDSM. Sex isn’t used as a reward or punishment. In Dominance and submission he doesn’t obey in order to get sex. He doesn’t obey because you command him, like a drill sergeant. He doesn’t obey because you’re wearing tight black leather and high heels. It’s not about worshipping women either, though some like to add that in. He obeys because he wants to, this is what he wants. He wants to obey. He wants to be a good boy. He wants to be happy, with you.

Have you ever told a man he’s a “good boy”? Watch his face. Those are powerful words. As a Dominant woman you can get a lot of mileage out of “good boy”. Play with it sometime. You don’t have to try anything else, just slip a “good boy” into the conversation. You can say it softly, romantically, sensually. Or, say it with power, energy and a little forcefulness.

Subtle, Simple Ways for Women to Dip into Domination

  • Hold his hand. Take his hand as you cross the street. Lead him by the hand and walk in front of him.
  • Order for him. You don’t need to order him around. Try ordering for him at a restaurant before he lets the server know what he wants.
  • Dress him. Tell him what you want him to wear next time you go out together. Pick out clothes that look good on him and tell him so if he objects.
  • Kiss him first. Pick a moment when it won’t lead to anything else. Just a quick, impulsive kiss, or a fondle, caress, tickle…
  • Ask him to touch you and tell him how to do it right (as you want to be touched). Anything from rubbing your shoulders, warming your hands, or stroking your back. It’s up to you.
  • Accept thanks and compliments from him. Don’t be modest or turn away positive comments. Reward him with a smile instead and thank him too.

None of these things are Earth shattering. But, you can get a feeling for being in power in your relationship. You can see how fun it is and start to want more. Also, as you take charge you begin to ask for more, expect more and then it’s just a step farther to telling him you’re going to try something new… like blindfolding him or not letting him touch you with his hands while you have your own way with him.

For women who really enjoy Domination it’s not about wearing tight costumes, carrying a whip or being a bitch. Those can be elements of it, if that’s what you actually want. But, BDSM can be all about sensuality and pleasure. As a Dominant woman you just do it YOUR way. The hard part is sticking to doing it your way and not letting things slip into giving him what he wants while you wait for it to be over. There is nothing so dull and boring as being a McDomme, a woman doing what he wants, his way and wishing you had brought along a good book for yourself.

Slavery Bracelet Rules

Use this to make your own rules, if you like the idea of a slavery bracelet for your man.

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The bracelet rules for the male:

  1. Once it’s on your wrist, you are not allowed to take it off. And there are no exceptions. She is in charge now, and she is the only one who can take it off.

If you’ll take it off, it means you broke a contract you had with her, and she can decide on the punishment, and in addition she can claim your slavery for a double period of time.

  1. As long as it’s on his wrist, you are her slave, and she is your owner. The status of your relationship or marriage has changed, and it will stay like this until she removes the bracelet.
  1. At the moment, you are wearing the bracelet, you must bow down to the floor and kiss her feet/shoes until she decides it’s enough. By doing it, you admit that the status has change, and you are under her control.
  1. During the time the bracelet is on you, you are obligated to accept her punishments. Once she calls you for punishment you cannot refuse. She is allowed to use the whip or leather belt to punish you as much as she wants.

Rules for the goddess:

  1. You, and only you have the right to take the bracelet off and release him.
  2. Before you put the bracelet, make sure that you are both know how long will be the period.

In case you both did not discuss how long he will be under your control, and for some reason the bracelet is on. The time will be the same as the last period.

 

  1. If you decide that it will be for 14 days. You should release him after 14 days and don’t try to use your power to extend the time since he cannot take off the bracelet by himself, and he is depended on you to be released.
  1. You cannot extend the period as punishment. If he was not obedient, punish him as much as you like. But do not extend the period because of it
  1. You can extend the period only on one exception. If he missed a day, for some reason, you entitle to extend it in two days for every one day he missed.

For example: you both decided on 21 days.   During the period, he needed to stay at work later one day, and he was sick and could not serve you for two days.  He missed three days total and as compensation you have the right to extend the period in six days (two days for every day he missed). There will be no argument about it from his side.

Make sure to force these rules. He must respect these rules and the sacredness of the slavery bracelet.

Source: Goddess Tip : The slavery bracelet

Image source: Instructables – with instructions for making a simple slave bracelet.

Real FemDom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With

The link below offers a fairly traditional list of FemDom fetishes and kinks. I read the list and then thought: I don’t actually want most of that. Or, if I do, it’s not really all that interesting after a short time. Not for me, individually, personally.

Women as Doms are pushed to perform for male submissives. Stop and think… What do you actually want?


Foot worship… slobber on your feet and foot wear. How attractive is that? Get him to pamper your feet in practical ways: manicures, leg waxing and massage. Change foot worship into foot service and reap the rewards!

Chastity… really means chastity for both of you. Would you prefer having him make love to you – the way you want him to? Yes, you can have him perform and give you an orgasm but is that really enough for you? Chastity works better as a tease than a reality. Long periods of time spent in chastity are usually just in stories, not fact.

Sissy play… Do you really like seeing him feminized? How does that make you feel about being a woman yourself? I don’t like sissy play. Not because I don’t like the torment of putting him into high heels, a frilly pair of panties, etc. But, I feel there is an aspect of sissy play which minimalizes women and being a woman.

Spanking… play, punishment, pleasure…? Do you enjoy giving a spanking? Do you like the exercise you get from it? By the end of the spanking do you have bruises too?

Bondage and teasing I do like. But, I make sure I’m doing both my way. I make sure I’m enjoying teasing him and I prefer mental bondage to the risk of tools and gadgets which are really physical objects to symbolize the actual control and power. Physical bondage works when I want to see him struggle and squirm and he likes being able to do so.

Roleplay… I do enjoy adding flavour with roleplay. But, how do you feel about it yourself? Does some of it feel silly, over done? Do you enjoy it or is it a performance and you’re glad when it’s over and you can be yourself again?

Learn how domination can boost your confidence and bring you closer to your man with these sexy femdom ideas that you can cater to your interests!

Source: 10 Femdom Ideas To Dominate Your Man With