Men Who Assume Make An Ass of Themselves

My reply to a note on CollarMe.com. The man wrote a long email (form mail of course, just cut and pasted from an email he likely sends to any female Dom on the site). In his email he went on about how he would serve me and how well he would serve, etc. I did not do more than give it a quick skim. I don’t see the point in putting more effort and time into reading it than he gave in sending it to me. As if sending form mail is not annoying enough, it really does tick me off that men assume I am some cardboard cut out and have no individuality what so ever.

In order to send a note like that you assume a LOT about me. Instead you could have written a personal note in order to get to know me. I do not find this sort of email at all flattering. It is actually insulting and shows that you are not at all submissive as you are already trying to tell me what I think, what I want and who I should be.

Topping from the bottom

I was thinking that men who talk about wanting a Domme may actually not know what they really want is a Top. A Top is someone who enjoys fetishes with a bottom but there isn’t a formal relationship with the rules and respect and expectations of a FemDom. Instead they play, whatever fetish they choose and one is Top and the other is bottom.

When men say they want a Domme and then already have a set of expectations on what she should do, how she should do it and when, they seem to really want a Top. They have not added what she wants into the situation.

If they really did want a Domme they would have to make room for her wishes, wants and needs. They would have to accept that things are not going to go along in the way they expect them too. She might not want to spank them. She might not have any interest in humiliation or forced feminization or a lifestyle with D/s. So often men think a Domme is what they want her to be instead of who she is.

How much simpler it would be for them if they looked for a Top instead. They could make the plan for what each of them wants, what each of them has a limits of where they will not go and they can schedule each activity together. In that way both people are getting their needs met. Neither is trying to change the other or tell the other they aren’t behaving correctly, as per spec.

It is time for men who think they want to be submissives to a Domme to realize they don’t really want that at all. What they are doing is looking for something so they can change and bend it to what they want. They are Topping from the bottom.