Category: BDSM
TMI: 31 Sexual Favours
| March 24, 2012 | Posted by Laura Brown under BDSM |
This TMI Tuesday let’s play our own 31 Sexual Favors. List 31 unique and exciting sexual activities or services you’d put on your very own tokens that are guaranteed to make you the favorite flavor of the week.
- Strip him down and just watch him stand there, doing nothing.
- Tie him to my bed frame then tease and torment him while wearing rubber gloves.
- Take him out for breakfast, put a bib on him and just smile at anyone who notices.
- Have coffee at home. Mine in a teacup, his in his doggie bowl.
- Give him a temporary collar, just for one day.
- Draw all over him with markers then wash it off when I’m done.
- Tie him in the doorway, arms and legs apart, then play with a feather.
- Give him a list of domestic duties, starting with making my coffee so I can ignore him while I read a good book.
- Have a big cage delivered to the house as a surprise. Then put him in it.
- Go to bed and leave him to sleep on the floor, nude but with a blanket.
- Take photos of him posing nude in the snow. Snow angels.
- Take photos of him at abandoned farm houses, nude or wearing just a leash and collar.
- Petting him like a good puppy for half an hour.
- Letting him wash my hair and my back in the shower. That is all.
- Take him out shopping for new clothes while wearing pink panties.
- Show him I’m wearing sexy undies then go out for the day and not let him touch me.
- Flash him just for fun.
- Flash him in the kitchen when he has important people over for dinner.
- Circle the pictures of cock cages in an adult toy catalogue and leave it for him to find.
- Tell him, “I’ve changed my mind.” Right before I leave the house. If he insists on more information just say, “We’ll talk about it later.” or “You know what I mean.” or “Have you forgotten or were you just not listening?” if you really want to keep it going.
- Lock him into some kind of bondage, then ‘lose’ the key until he really believes you have lost the key.
- Try Japanese rope bondage on him, when he’s all knotted up go unload the dishwasher or something else kind of boring and everyday.
- Use him for a coffee table (without burning him).
- Take my trained sex robot to bed.
- Let him pick out panties for me at the store, then buy them in his size.
- Tie a pretty ribbon around his cock, with a bow. But, take all day to open my ‘present’.
- Examine him. Taking my time and telling him what I’m doing and what will be examined next.
- Use a flyswatter to ‘punish’ him.
- Play Truth or Dare, by my own unfair rules.
- Blindfold him and play with his mind. The mind fuck.
- Send him this tweet (found on Twitter yesterday):
(Archived from 1998) 3 Essays on Finding a Domme, by Ms. Margo
| March 11, 2012 | Posted by thatgrrl under BDSM, Courtship, Domme Doodles, femdom, male submission |
Three Essays on Finding a Domme by Ms Margo
- On Patience Or, How Do I Get A Dom, An·way?
- “How do I find a Dom/Dominant/Dominatrix/domme/Goddess/Mistress/dominant Lady/dominate woman?
- On Petitions… Or, How do I get a Mistress to accept my petition? (more…)
For Men who Want to Date Dommes
| March 4, 2012 | Posted by thatgrrl under BDSM, Courtship, femdom, Romance |
I read a post by a man talking about how hard it is to find a Domme who will date boys. My first thought was to wonder where he is looking cause I find there are plenty of Dom women who are looking. Then, it occured to me… he is talking about professional women, only.
Men who spend their time paying to be Dommed narrow their minds a great deal. Maybe it is the idea that being a Domme is a bad thing, something only a wicked, dirty woman would do. The other women they work with, see in the grocery store, talk to on the bus, etc. would never be the sort to do something like that. So they can only think of the professional Domme/ FemDoms when they consider having a real relationship with a Domme. It must be something like that, cause it just can’t be that men are generally so narrow minded, can it?
If you are only trying to date the Dommes who perform as a job/ get paid you are barking up the wrong tree. Not all of them are Dommes outside of work. My friend was a professional but is happily married and living with her husband as his sub. She can work it either way for clients, but her reality is different. Also, I expect dating the men they meet through business is like taking their work home with them. When do they get time to be just themselves if they have to Dom all the time?
There are women who are not professionals and those tend to be the women who know what they want and would like a relationship with a man who knows his place. However, I am cautious about men who have paid for it. They get the wrong idea and assume it will always be done their way, a performance on command.
30 Days of Kink
| March 4, 2012 | Posted by thatgrrl under BDSM |
Here are the questions for 30 Days of Kink. This will be a little project to work on.
- Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
- Day 2: List your kinks.
- Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?
- Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks?
- Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience? If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.
- Day 6: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.
- Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?
- Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.
- Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.
- Day 10: What are your hard limits?
- Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?
- Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
- Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
- Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
- Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
- Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
- Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
- Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
- Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?
- Day 20: Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about/don’t understand.
- Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)
- Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
- Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
- Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?
- Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?
- Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?
- Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?
- Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?
- Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?
- Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.
Is There a FemDom’s Bill of Rights?
| March 1, 2012 | Posted by thatgrrl under BDSM, femdom, male submission |
The Boys’ Bill of Rights
1. Every boy has the right to have his body, intellect, and emotions protected by his Dom.
2. Every boy has the right to choose the man whom he serves and to discontinue that service and take his leave without being subjected to physical, mental, or emotional abuse.
3. Every boy has the right to be cared for, disciplined appropriately, and allowed to feel pride in his submission.
4. Every boy has the right to protected sex if he so wishes.
5. Every boy has the right to privacy if he so wishes. No boy can be blackmailed, publicly humiliated, or physically coerced into service without his expressed desire to be so.
6. Every boy has the right to defend himself from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.
7. Every boy has the right to consent or not to consent to sexual activities.
8. Every boy has the right to seek refuge, counsel, and advice from other subs and Doms without the expectation of sex, money, or any other service in return.
9. Every boy has the right to a physically and emotionally available circle of friends.
10. Every boy has the right to protect his own possessions and finances against intercession, theft, and non-consensual acquisition.
Who do you think this was written for, originally? (Yes, it’s pretty obvious, but could it work for FemDom and male sub and then could it still work (rewritten and somewhat reworded) as The FemDom’s Bill of Rights? Does it feel strange to even think of a FemDom having rights like these? If so, maybe you have some re-thinking to do.
Conversations About Switching
| February 29, 2012 | Posted by thatgrrl under BDSM, femdom, Romance, Wickedness |
I began my BDSM journey, I now understand, as myself. I’m still myself. Along the way I looked into different roles and labels and tried to fit myself into them. That was a mistake, a misplacement of myself. But, it was interesting and all adds flavour to the journey, making it a chance to discover who I am.
Here are conversations I had through forums and email and a post I wrote at points during my discovery. (It will be at least two posts).
I’ve been trying to think of a simple way to explain how I feel to be a switch. I thought about buttons, the kind you find with your partner to drive them wild with lust. Well, in my case the buttons connect to a switch like a train track. Depending on which buttons are pushed my switch changes from the submissive track to the Dominant one. Other ways to look at it: I want to wear someone’s collar and belong to that person, I also want someone to be owned by me and wear the collar I give them. My bondage fantasies are about being taken captive and taking a captive of my own.
It isnt that I don’t feel strongly as one or the other when I am one or the other. I can’t separate the feelings enough to say which I prefer. Both are very different. It
also isnt that I can’t make up my mind or want to keep all my options open. The Internet gives me a lot of freedom to explore how I think and feel without leaving the comfort of my home. I have gone through a lot of confusion and thought processing to end up here. All of my experience has come from the Internet: email correspondence and discussion lists, IRC and the femdom and bondage newsgroups. I have always formed my own opinions based on what I see, read and experience. I have been doing the same thing as I explored Dominance and submission.
To be a Dominant is a very strong and powerful feeling. When I Dom I feel charged up with energy. Having a strong male helpless, giving himself to me to do with as I please is also a very big responsibility and I do feel this, even when I’m writing. To submit is a soft and gentle feeling, sometimes childlike. I feel vulnerable, which I don’t like 100%. I find I lose some of my ability to say ‘no”.
I feel more myself when I am neither one. I think of this balanced spot as the switch, my centre. As a sub I used brattiness to keep from going too far from my balanced centre. As a Domme I use the responsibility to see to the safety of the submissive to let through my gentler side. In this way I keep both the Domme and the submissive sides from straying too far from who I am, or who I see myself as being.
I don’t think I could straight sub or Dom. That would be cutting off a side of myself. I have heard some people say they switch to balance their Dom or their sub selves. I don’t feel this way. I am balanced without either role. To choose sides lets me explore more of my self.
I am doing more of that at the moment. Each new relationship on line makes me look at myself in a different way. I started as a Domme, afraid of the power I held. I met a man who wanted to be Dommed. He told me about spreader bars and spankings and other delights I had not heard of. I liked the feeling of Domination. He was the wrong person for me to learn with. Though I did get my feet wet. Next, I met the people on the #submission channel and I saw submissives who were not quiet and obediant to the point of being non-people. I liked what I saw so I tried it. I joined an email group and found a Dom on IRC. My IRC Dom liked my creativity so much he wanted more of it in another way. I began to Domme him. It was a confusing time for me. I found I enjoyed Domming. I had not really discovered how much fun I could have before. Now I knew and submitting was not enough. I Dommed without submitting. I met a male sub through the bondage personals on usenet. Life was great and I was happy and keeping him happy too. But then the urge to submit crept back in. There were nights when I hungered to be Dominated to give up my control. That is where I am now. Except for one more relationship, a new one. Another personals ad, this time on a regular newsgroup. He -was- vanilla. Now I am taking him along on my explorations and having a chance to look at my decisions and opinions through new eyes.
The End
