A Well Kept Man

It’s weird, but this makes him look more like a woman than men dressing up as women.

We get so focused on women being just parts. These parts in particular. I guess when the focus is the same parts for a male I still have the association.

Also, I don’t see all the cosmetics, frills and such as being something that makes a woman.  I don’t wear make-up myself. Does anyone else get that feeling from this image? Or, will I get more comments about how hateful I am? (Still makes me laugh a little).

Source: Mister Kristofer

Gay men BDSM sites often have good fantasy fare. But, overall it’s more fun to watch than to try to do it myself. Something like this would be fun for awhile but… for all the time it would take to get him into this, I don’t think the fun (for me) would be enough to make it worthwhile. Still, leaving him that way awhile (not unsupervised!) would probably give him a lot of subspace time. Especially if he knew I was still around but didn’t know what I was up to. I could be washing dishes but he could imagine I was up to all kinds of more interesting (for him) things. I could have fake phone conversations to really get him thinking, the mind fuck.

Labels in BDSM: 30 Days of Dominance

Day 1 – Does your Dominance – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your preferred Dominant style as Taken in Hand, Domestic Discipline, Top/bottom, Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Labels can work as a general description. A label can communication to someone else much easier than trying to pin point and cover every nuance and detail of what you are doing and why you do it.

A label can confine, limit and set you up with a lot of standards and expectations – if you deal with people who care about belonging to a group or niche within that label. Trying to keep the group “pure” so they can have their club means they have to set rules to keep people out. Everyone can’t belong to the group/ niche. This is where labels become too important and strict.

I prefer a label as just a general description. I do understand the group mentality, but I like to adapt, evolve and generally have the space to do things as I choose. Group acceptance comes to those who confidently set the fashions. After all, every group needs leaders.

I like Domestic Discipline, owner/ pet and a merge of styles. I also like to come up with my own ideas. Someone might take the time to label and categorize them. That seems less important to me.

Introduction to Light Bondage

How to Dom with Light Bondage

  • Restraints
  • Sensual Deprivation
  • Discipline
  • Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don’t want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can’t get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don’t have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive – knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don’t take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I’m not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don’t want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don’t skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.